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[DATE]

Mini-Blog

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I feel like a smaller but meaningful part of the problem with modern mainstream media, specifically around both representation of marginalized groups and nuanced, subversive storytelling, is that the far-right wanted to be punk rock so fucking bad despite being a bunch of pro-estblishment crusty chuds that they posed (not a word i usually condone, but accurate here.) so fucking hard that a lot of center-left Liberals genuinely think that "The Left" is the establishment, and that making challenging and/or edgy (in the real sense of the word, to mean subversive and transgressive against the status-quo, not the fake right-wing "edgelord" sense) stories is somehow right-wing, and that art depicting bad ppl doing bad things is automatically condoning those actions, rather than themetically exploring the human society at it's very worst and most evil, critqueing systemic evils and their misanthropic yet normalized depravities, or simply exploring nihilism and tragedy as a sort of "Theater of Cruelty"-esque artistic proformance, because the vast majority well-made and well-written art that depicts things that are evil and difficult to see know that it is in fact evil that it's depicting, because conflict simply makes for good storytelling.. Similarly, a lot of ppl don't understand the difference between a genuinely bigoted writer and a socially-tolerant writer depicting bigotry existing or a bigoted antagonistic character (Or conversely, a deeply flawed protagonist who must overcome their hateful nature and, to varying degrees, learn the errors of their ways in order for them to resolve their character arc and become a better, or at least a less shitty and bigoted, person)

but the thing about the far-right is they aren't trying to shock the establishment, they're trying to shock and transgress against those who wish to challenge the establishment and thus force it to move forward, bc the far-right and neo-fascist don't dislike the establishment at all, they dislike anyone who challenges it because, where as the so-called "far-left" is constantly trying to socially challenge both itself and what is possible in terms of human expression and humantarian achievement, the alt-right talks much harder because it can't handle being challenged. These groypers feel the need to be politically coddled, whether they frame it in a pseudo-iconiclastic way or not. Just look at all those weird anti-woke ppl, they see a gay or black or trans or femme person in a video game and they start clutching pearls on they're secretly-kinda=stuffy list of games they don't want you to play. It's just rampant McCarthyism with a superficially-edgy wrapping

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"Confusion Engine"

Short Film, surrealist/smokey comedy/arthouse/avantpop

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Remember when the old tech bubble was "VR Chat but with expensive imaginary real estate and also we might brick your headset"? I miss that we were so innocent then. Now we're like "This language tool is sentient and will kill us all somehow i haven't figured yet."

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"Arrival"

Short Film, Surrealist/Arthouse/Tone Poetry

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"Something Terrible"

Short Film, Horror/Comedy/Shitpost

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New CG stopmotion Ekko model!

This one's a bit cuter and more polished. I made this lil animation to show it off

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New game prototype!

It's a weird immersive sim, the aesthetic was kinda inspired by the band Machine Girl. On the current version of the prototype (V0.0.5, at the time of writing) it's got a pretty cool interconnected level with multiple angles to tackle it from. Not a bad start, it's been awhile since I made an ImSim prototype solid enough to actually publish

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New song (YES AN ACTUAL NEW ARTPOP DROP FROM ME WOW) that I finished yesterday

A little jazzy, a bit spooky too, kinda reminds me of Jorge Auguilar's stuff (who I've listened to despite having very different taste in games just bc his songs slap lol) although I wasn't nessessarily going for spooky when I made the beat, I just started playing around with weird vocal processing and it just sounded right

Oh, BTW, you actually DON'T need to manually turn off the BGM, this new widget I made does that for you, and looks pretty neat! You can ofc still accidentally play two songs over eachother lol, but it takes care of the BGM automatically

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British millenials: This American offshoot of dubstep is a bunch of American macho bullshit, let's call it "Brostep" lol

Zoomers in the 2020s: ngl making early-2010s-style dubstep is kinda enby-coded

(Jokes aside, I hate it that our culture misconstrues heavy, hard-hitting music and edgy/dark sci-fi aesthetics with masculinity. Not just in the obvious "Stop gendering every action and object at every given oppertunity" way, bc it's also just stupid that some ppl can't tell the difference between Fred Durst doing it all for the nookie (i'll admit it's a fun song but let's be honest it's kinda goofy lol) VS Lorna Shore growling and screaming about being an otherworldly omnipotent godlike between with wings who wishes to devour the sun (which... is honestly also pretty enby-coded tbh. The otherworldly celestial entity with wings, I mean, idk know about eating the sun, that seems like it would be hazardous for you health and also we need that this it's like earth's lightbulb. don't eat a lightbulb that's bad for you.)

EDIT: Obviously, overtly masculine that's also actually good does exist, Nine Inch Nails has a heavy undertone of hetero male masculinity and sexuality (bc Trent Reznor was a sex symbol back then, believe it or not!) and NIN fucking rocks. I bring up Limp Bizcuit specifically bc I was talking about unconvincing and shallow machismo, which "brostep" was accused of at the time (despite the fact that the guy leading the movement was a androgynous emo dude who used to sing in confessionally angsty post-harcore band and also is one of the few cis guys who's given me gender envy. Yeah im a little bias but that only strengthens my argument, in this specific case lol). Tbh I think the brits were kinda just upset (fairly reasonably so, I would say) that the normies thought Skrillex invented dubstep and now forever are misinformed on what the word "dubstep" entails (basically DnB-style bass drop with a 2-step beat at circa 70bpm, though usually it's produced at double-time at 140-150 with a half-time 2-step beat. Also a 2-step beat just means a kick on beat 1 and 3 in a bar, and a snare without a kick under it at 2 and 4. You can have dubstep without the dubstep growl, and you can stick that growl in an electrohouse song and that doesn't actually make it dubstep)

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One thing that's truly frustrating rn is that a big part of why more ppl than ever are turning against MAGA is just like... they're a bunch of chuds. They're lame. They're pathetic losers. They're cringe.

On one level, this is awesome. I've alway said that if you wanna fight fascists, you have to go for they're pride, humiliate them. I also know a lot of ppl are, quite reasonably, rly upset about Pretti's murder, but there's also probably a lot of ppl who officially hate the MAGAts solely bc they're showing they're ass right now, and the Left (whatever that even means.) are doubling down on ridcululing these assholes, being the bully's bully, so to speak. That's good, but like... I just hate that there's so many ppl who base they're social opinions on aestheticized "vibes" instead of having a moral compass. Like, what does it say about America and our superficial vanity if getting normies to say the word "chud" is one of the biggest steps yet in fighting fascist insurrectionists? .-.

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Did this collage in GIMP for some reason. Guess I've been thinking a lot about old digital art and how ppl were fixated on the photomontage capibilities of photoshop in the early oughts

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Idk fully what I mean by this but unhinged A(u)DHD bedrooms and like the equal and opposite to "male living spaces"

Like instead of being barren and aesthetically plain I have two fake plants (a lil tree and a flower) in front of a bunch of printed-out (on letter size paper) homemade posters, many of which are very colorful and wacky and none of which have aesthetic coherent, another smaller flower plant below that next to my cassette and CD music collection (all home-recorded/burned except for a copy of The Bravery's Stir The Blood) a bunch of clothes on the floor, my pokka-dot bag is on the antique wooden desk next to my twin matress, a have The Guitar Corner Where All My Guitars Go, a little bubblegum pink mini-amp I have next to that, a lil mini-fridge, and a bunch of other bullshit i don't wanna mention bc it's embaressing. There's also... like a lil anitque pot brass pot that I think has coins or smth in it? I'm just noticing that now Christ

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Here's a song from that EDM album I'm working on. It's a DnB/Neurofunk banger (make sure to click the "BGM Off" buttom at the left side first!)

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Just learned that the that fucking ICE leader asshole is being made to get out of Minneapolis. ICE appearently will still be there, but from what I understand it'll be in the same way as everywhere in the states (They'll still be kidnapping kids and shit, but at least they won't be out in the streets inciting violence to bait protesters into defending themselves and carry out the bad cheeto man's royal tantrum for him.) Appearently, several DHS officials have been "asked to testify" (in CNN's words), though I don't remember if they said it was in front on congress or the supreme court. I'm guessing congress. Either way, as silly as it sounds, the fact that any part of the federal govt is doing anything about it at all, or taking any semblance of displicinary action, shocked and amazed the hell out of me. I rly just assumed no one in the govt would have the balls to say "stop" about the Minneapolis thing, even though it's obviously an insane escalation. At the very least, this means the some ppl in the gov't realized how horrified and appauled ppl across the country were at this whole ordeal, and release someone needed to step in the de-escalate it, meaning they on some level understand the ramifications of and natural civilian reactions to spitting on democracy that blatently with open violence and hostility to a general population, and then lying about what happened while ppl can see the truth on a recording that shows what actually went down.

TBH I needed to hear this news rn, I've been so overwhelmed at the state of the world for the last couple of days, seeing and hearing about all the shit in Minneapolis was rly getting to me on an emotional level and I just felt powerless. Best case sceneario, someone in the gov't is fed up. Worst case sceneario, the anger of the general populus of American citizens gave somebody a moment of clarity to think, "Oh yeah, our actions might have consequences, we need to dial things back a bit... ._.". Either way, I'm glad that asshole leading ICE's terrorist operation (sincere, that's what it is) in MInneapolis has to move out, potentially with some of his shitfaced SS boys.

Best of luck and love to the ppl of Minneapolis, if you're reading this and you're from there, I wish you the very best and hope you can stay safe, and I'm sorry about what these fascist assholes have done to your city

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ALSO: Sorry I've been absent from the site a bit more than usual, I have been in a bit of a slump (nothing to bad, tbh I've just been tired, a lot of stress and shit and I feel worn out) but I am also making another EDM album... Listen, I know I've been making a lot of that and I'm not sure how ppl are responding to it tbh (no one's said anything about it to me, you can if you so choose but I'm probably gonna finish this album anyway. Basically I haven't really felt like singing (takes to much out of my body) and I've suddenly gotten a bunch of nostalgia from my early days as a producer, and thus nostalgia for a lot of the EDM stuff I grew up listen to. I've got a couple really good songs set for it already, spanning from DnB to (EDM) Trap to electro-house. It's gonna be a good album, a lot more polished than the beattape I put out a bit earlier, and more of an actual album as well

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The funny thing about patriotism the two kinds are "I'm an activist bc like... I love this country. That's why I want it to stop being a shit place to live!" and "Plz Mr. President let me suck your dick! I will descend into fascism with you!" and somehow there's no inbetween

On that subject: There's so many ppl who share many views with me as long as I don't say the word "Anarchism". Like not even Anarchist philosphy, they're fine with most of that, they just don't like hearing the word bc of how it's misused to mean "chaos" or "lawless", which to be fair, is based in the fact that certain anarchists during like the 1800s started assassinating dictators, and sometimes genuinely taking shit too far, but the actual core of the philosphy is just based on the belief that a society with heirarchical leadership can't be just, basically it means "no leaders", potentially no states (governments) if a state was no longer nessessary, but that's hypothetical and far off if possible, would be cool to let ppl be ppl though! Weirdly "Humans are generally good and kind to one another when not influnced by powerful and corrupt individuals who wish to divide and conquer in order to amass power away from others" is one of the harder things to convince ppl of, which makes me sad. Anyway you probably weren't expecting an (admittedly very opinionated lol) philosophy lesson out of me rn but there you go lol

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Some housekeeping: The miniblog now has an archive, so that this page loads faster and I can type faster in the editor, and there's now a "QuickstART" page that gives an introduction to my creative works

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Ekko loves helping ppl with their angst, but they're basically incapable of doing so without being a wacky little goth weirdo

(If the text is too small to read, open it in another tab!)

The leftmost text bubble might be the most Ekko Locria sentence of all time lol, I also love Ekko's expression there, the lil paws put together all evilly while I give somebody affirmations and kindness offscreen, Ekko's such a sweet and kindhearted gay goth edgelord lmao

EDIT: For clarity/comfirmation: Yes, pretty much whenever I draw Ekko with IRL me, that is actually an alchemically-constructed artificial human Ekko put part of their soul into because he made it in an alchemy class and felt bad about the fact that it would "die" in a few days, as it informed them, because it didn't have a soul. In my OCs timeline, the first thing Vessel (that's the self-sona's name!) did upon being given a homoculus body is scream for no reason and then do creative stuff for like five hours. (This suprised Ekko as they had been in a creative rut and didn't realize they had that much angst buried down). Vessel (in my main OC canon) lives with Ekko at their apartment in Saint Bedlem, the city in the blasphemously quasi-utopian version of Hell Ekko lives in. Ekko's like a subversively friendly hellbat demon, hence why Ekko's other best friend, my voidsona Mylo, is an angel with daddy issues, bc God is kinda needy in my canon. Also if your curious where fuckers like Hitler and Jeffery Dahmmer is in all this, they put truly evil ppl in "The Pit", which in this case literally just a big hole in the middle of nowhere so like war criminals and serial killers and shit can't bother the denizens of Hell, most of which are just ppl who don't meet God's arbitary standards - which They set in stone when they were in the closet and taking Their angst out on the wrong ppl before coming out as transfemme nonbinary. So now you know a bit of OC lore. I bet you didn't expect it to be that blasphemous. I grew up listening to a lot of metal while watching the evangelicals in my country go crazy so that's basically why. I also watched a lot of Supernatural growing up so I can't nessessarily say that didn't also influence it

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Been so sad an unfufilled the last day or two. It's been fun making music and stuff but I've been making less and not rly doing much else. I did start (for some reason) prototyping another Immersive Sim type of game, but I only created a couple system (picking up rigidbodies, damage input, explosions, crouching and crawling through vents. Also a melee attack, since it's an easy thing to impliment to test damage stuff) and didn't rly get that into it. I just haven't rly enjoyed being concious the last couple of day, listening to musics been OK i guess but I've hit a rly bad rut

...Er, maybe more of a bout of depression than a rut. Idk why. Maybe im just in one of those moods y'know? Actually... it's probably the cold. The cold makes me sleep and sad. Nvm I just realized this while typing in real time lol. At least it's just the weather, maybe I need to bundle up more lol

anywayyy im gonna snuggle up in a blanket, have a dorky-ass fluffy daydream about snuggling up with my sona Ekko and see if that makes me feel better. Hopefully i'll brb ^^

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Moonrave

I wanted to specifically post about this one bc I think it's rly rly good

Still just instrumental but i've been having fun making all sorts of different EDM

(Friendly reminder: Turn the BGM off on the left sidebar first lol)

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Been having a weird kinda "burnout" (for lack of a better term) where all I wanna do is make non-serious EDM music for fun, it's where I started as a music producer so it's been nice for my inner 17-year-old to go back to that stuff but with more skill now. Haven't rly felt like making any serious capital-A "art" tbh

Anyway, here's one of the songs I made:

U R

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Since I just finished a UK-style EDM mixtape, I thought I'd give making an electro-house song in the style I grew up with. Here it is:

househunters or whatever idk i never watched the show.

Pretty happy with how it turned out. I actually got my start as a producer learning how to make dubstep (the wubby Skrillex kind, not the Burial UK kind) and I got into Electro House through that since a lot of electro-house post-brostep had a lot of those growling basslines in them. This track does kinda sorta sound like smth Skrillex or Zomboy would've put out in the day

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Me: (sitting down to have a PB&J)

Intrusive Thoughts: Wait! that grape jelly might actually be that stuff from zootopia that made the anthro ppl psycho!

Me: What the fuck? That's a cartoon, it isn't even real, how would-

Brainrot: the grape jelly made the preds go vorny lolololol

Rational Thought: *very exhausted and apathetic sigh*

Intrusive Thoughts: STOP! All that grape jelly might have transformed into a bunch of little venomous spiders!!!!

Me: Why... How would that...?

Brainrot: haha did u know the father of anime had a transformation kink?? lmaoo

Me: im just gonna go to bed

Brainrot: lol watch out for the Benedril Hat Man he'll delete ur save file or smth idk

Intrusive Thoughts: OH MY GOD THE GREY HAT MAN FROM LSD DREAM EMULATOR IS GONNA KILL US IN OUR SLEEP VIA OUR DREAMS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Brainrot: more like via deez nuts!

Me: Why am I like this?

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I made an EDM beattape recently:

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That's all the posts on the mini-blog! For older posts, check out the mini-blog archive