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!!!EPILESPY WARNING!!!

Let art be weird >:3

FYI: A site redesign is going on for a bit. Don't be alarmed if something changes lol

Mini-Blog

I need more surrealist gothic fantasy in my life. But like that specific oldschool PC game dark fantasy aesthetic with a surrealist/psychedelic twist. The only modern pieces of media I've seen really pull it off in the way I'm talking about are Zelle and The Dungeon of Blood And Dreams. I feel like I kinda pulled it off with I Dreamt of Sanguia but that's a little more on the 80s dark fantasy film side of things

tbh i should 100% make a game with that aesthetic, but it'll probably be awhile bc I just finished a game I was working on and it might end up in a itch.io bundle, and I haven't rly gotten a chance to relax during the holidays (i've been using creative work to run from my feelings, yet again) and ofc im getting a major dental surgery on the 23rd so i'll be out cold for a day or two

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all of my intrusive thoughts are either "I am an awful person who deserves to fucking die and everyone knows this and hates me and also they'll always see me as anything but a cis man who will never be a valid enby bc im not valid and also im literally evil" or "wait... what if Bear Grills secretly had an autoerotic piss fetish? o_O" with basically zero inbetween

(If the Bear Grills thing sounds weirdly specific, it's because I just had this accursed thought and needed to afflict it onto others like a fucking chainmail curse. I'm sorry.)

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Been deeply facinating recently by how the old crappy CRT that early games were made both on and for effected how the art was made and looked, because that's what screens were back then, they were making the pixel art on CRTs for CRTs, which blurred the pixels, and thus a lot of older games don't look as intended on modern screens without realistic CRT shaders

So... I download one of those and gave it a shot!

Here we have Ekko wrapping herself up in her wings. Very wholesome and cute from my perspective, very menacing to the vaguely-characterized unknowing onlooker who just wandered into the same abandoned gothic castle I'm squatting in and saw me curled up on the couch. It's ok though I got them a cup of tea after making this in Libresprite they took this photo on a disposable camera. They say it's for "proof" because "no one would believes me" otherwise. Idk what they mean by that but I think we're buddies now. Hopefully. I feel like I've superficially proven I'm friendly, but they might still be a little scared of me because they shiver violently whenever I give them any platonic affection or even acknowledge their existent. It is pretty cold in here... this castels from the 19th century and it doesn't have any heating. Maybe they're just cold? The scariest thing I did was cuddle up on the couch, that's not really that scary right..? I wasn't even standing on the ceiling... Im not scary im a cute bat monster right guys...? :( Anyway-

Jokes and escapism aside, I really like how this turned out. I already rly like impling detail in art, so this made pixel are a log easier. If I ever made a pixel art game, I'll probably use a CRT shader in godot

in case your curious, this is was the raw pixels look like:

A lot of the abiguity is definately lost with this. I made it by going back and forth between Libresprite and looking through ShaderGlass frequently with it zoomed out a bit, to see how it looks with the CRT. A thing about a lot of older Pixel art games is that they avoided loadbearing pixels, because those tend to get lose with the CRT bluring

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im just chillin idk I just like drawing my sona looking cute but also goth uwu

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Here's a fun and informative model for understanding the Horseshoe Effect:

When someone is closer to the center of the political spectrum, there favorite Elder Scrolls game, if they have one, is likely Skyrim. Skyrim is an action-heavy hack n slash RPG with simple RPG mechanics and fair amount of polish (i mean polished by bethesda standards anyway.) Skyrim, much like the status quo itself, is very approachably. It's also popular. The popularity is actually probably the reason centrist are pretty normcore

However, the Horseshoe Effects states that when the Left and Right, both taken far enough, can look superficially similiar to one another. You see this in the fanbase of The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind, which is split up between Radically Progressive Left-Wings Humanists That Might Also Be Furries But Not Nessessarily and Coke-Up Steam Forum Groypers (both technical terms.)

However, while both the maybe-furry punks and the trumpfuckers (also technical terms) love Morrowind in all it's beautiful crunch and jank, they have different reasons for doing so. While the far-left simply likes morrowind for the escapist fantasy of being a swashbuckling outlaw or whatnot and the Chug Skooma Go Very Fast Game Let Me Do This Wow, the far-right is also equally interested in it being released before 2015. Similarly, when asked why a game like morrowind couldn't be made today, those on the far-left might say that it's hard to justify making a game like this on a corporate level today, given the things priortized by design-by-commitee-influenced Rich Dips (another technical term), the far-right might say there's woman and black person in new game and also new game too political (though it should be noted that the validity of this claim is contested, as Morrowind also has women and black ppl and dives into the social-economic and racial politics of the very flesh-out fictional world so idk)

anyway this is all my braindead way of telling you I'm playing around with a new prototype while I wait for a green screen to arive for a bigger project:

Feel free to give it a whirl (by clicking the image above), but note I'm gonna be doing little updates to it every so often :3

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Uggh, I rly wanna make myself pretty and wear nice clothes and put on makeup and shit but I don't have anywhere to be and I don't wanna waste foundation for something like this

been without makeup for weeks and the gender dysphoria is starting to set in... rn it's too late at night to make myself look nice :( might have to make myself up tommorrow

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Gonna be honest, I don't rly care that much about the winter holidays (in my case xmas) at this age, but I hope y'all have a happy holidays nonetheless :3

I might make holiday art this year, but in case I don't, here's a lazy comic edit of some old art:

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Ekko's personality basically functions on a spectrum between "haha funni spoopy goth bat is human fren" and "I have no pity for tyrants and I am ready to usurp God's thrown for the benefit of the 99%"

Btw: That character Ekko is cuddling isn't even an oc. Just some random stoner they literally just met and they felt bad when he was too hard on himself. For all their theatrical cartoon villian bullshit, Ekko's rly just a big softy with a spooky aesthetic and a strong sense of justice. Really represents my more overcompassionate tendicies. I think Mylo is more my introverted emo side lol

Edit: Not to pat myself on the back too much, but looking back... wow I can't believe i made this at like 2am, especially after a long-ish break from drawing. It's some of my best work in like a month or two (In the more dramatic illustration I mean. Ofc the silly one was just meant to be a little doodle lol). I really like Ekko's pose, it's rly dynamic and expressive, and their facial expression is also rly incredible, and while this is a smaller thing, their potbelly actually looks really natural and believable, even as a person who's body is actually shaped like that, it can be hard to make it look like my body actually does... also a lot of ppl (who probably are skinny in their defence, so i applaud them for at least trying) draw it looking like a sphere that isn't soft or isn't affected by gravity, what's weird is that classical (or at least standard, for lack of a better term) art training DOES teach how to draw fat, but only in the context of breasts on a stereotypical femme form, all fat pretty much works like that, water balloon or whatever

anyway sorry for ranting about plus-size rep in art, i ofc have strong opinions about that, as im sure a lot of you know. i don't rly get to see my body type represented in art (especially furry art) unless it's like somebody's kink or super a cartoonish/simplified representation of a fat person - and it's totally fine to like what you like between consenting adults, or just to draw toony art and simplified character designs, idk i'd just like to see more art that just depicting fat ppl and/or fat anthro animal ppl in a way that's both a bit more representational and non-hypersexual. Luckly I am also an artist so I can be the to draw that! >:3

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I don't wanna give any details or specific information on it yet, until it's more along, but I'm actually working on my first "serious" project in a while, and unlike Mixtape Delinquents it'll probably actually get finished within a reasonable amount of time. (particularly bc it isn't a video game and has a pre-planned production)

I will include some cryptic out of context screenshots from the production though ;)

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Sometimes I feel like a fuck up (mostly just bc I came of age right when the economy hit the fan and just happened to be fortunate enough to have a loving family who understands how difficult things are rn, especially for ppl my age) so sometimes I tell myself "Hey at least your not one of those weird losers who write Steam reviews about how wokeness is ruining gaming and say weird 4chan shit 'wokescolds' and 'furrysided' and 'goyslop' and think it's normal to say shit like that and doesn't show your ass as a weird internet nazi an-" and then I'm like "Heeyyyy I should have much higher standards for myself and maybe stop thinking im the worst person in the world for some reason"

Side note just to educate yall on what those assholes are talking about when they say those things: the "goyslop" thing is a particularly deranged 4chan neo-nazi conspiracy theory where they think ultra-processed is somehow jewish ppl's fault instead of, yknow, just how profit motives naturally affect an underregulated food industry, the "wokescold" thing i'm 99% sure is just what they call intellectuals when the words like "media literacy" or "critical thinking skills" are spoken, and "furrysided"... I dunno honestly i've just heard those types of ppl say it. I have a hunch though, based on context clues, it might literally mean "sided with the furries" which... implies a preceived one-sided holy war going on between an extreme political ideaology and a hobbyist group that happens to have a lot of neurodivergent and queer ppl in it. Speaks to a deeply strange but facinating world view.

(Btw im sorry the last couple of posts on here have been complaining about fascists, it's just that those fucks are currently running the government and holding onto power for dear life so I'm grumpy and need somewhere to vent.)

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Saw some coked up groyper on YT describe someone having "turned degeneracy into a career" and yes a lot of ppl actually do this. We call such ppl, "artists".

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Here's my (very mildly) inflamatory take for the day: I don't think there's any need for nuance or exceptions in the statement "The only good fascist is a dead fascist". I think if someone's a full blown nazi it's 100% ok to exclude them from all human life inherently having value. If they believe in all the nazi shit, and say fucked up shit about jewish ppl and other racial/ethno-religeon minorities, queer ppl, disabled ppl, and basically anyone who doesn't conform to their ultra-puritanical world view via thinly veiled dogwhistle, they should fucking kill themselves like their favorite geman guy. Morally speaking, it's ok and good to say that neo-nazis and fascists in general should Fix Their Heart Or Die. We don't need to add nuance for that, and if there seems like there might be a need to do so, it's probably not a good sign for democracy and there's A Problem That Needs To Be Fixed Urgently. Just saying.

BTW: if someone claims they "don't like 4chan nazis but furries are more cringe/worse" that's probably a fucking dogwhistle. Just say you hate queer/disabled ppl, dipshit. That's like saying "I don't agree with the nazis but their uniforms were cool, aesthetically speaking". Go fucking kill yourself. (not you reading this, you stay alive, im talking the the hypothetical groyper who's just a stand-in for the ppl who say either of these dogwhistles. Anyway...)

anyway sorry im just grumpy bc im getting older and more educated on politics just as neo-fascists have gotten ballsy enough to rage-frolic about like their weird euginics bullshit is an acceptable thing to bring up in polite conversation. Honestly who should have been harsher on 4chan and iFunny and that's saying something bc most ppl I've met vocally loathe both those platforms lol

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One weird thing I've realized as an adult, is that it isn't really that older people automatically lean more to the right, but rather than the Boomer generation (and ppl close to them in age) were raised at time where most parents were just unfit to be raise children, and were encouraged to never reflect or process their emotions, so their emotionally stunted, and the American form of conservatism kind of comes from a place of magical thinking to justify it's existence as an ideaology... and magical thinking is often a sympton of unchecked childhood trauma, and while that isn't an excuse for anything like bigotry, it might be a more productive angle to tackle this problem.

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past couple of days i've been a weird lil grimlen with no thoughts inside my silly little head framing my internal monologue as a daydreamed conversation with a similarly no-thoughts-head-empty bat version of me where we just sorta have a back in forth that doesn't make any fucking sense but we get it

(yeahhhh im less of a "i wanna be my fursona" type of furry and more one of those oddball "i wanna be BFFs with my fursona". I know that's objectively the cringier kind and I don't care, I like the big funni bat that lives in my brain they're my buddy shut up :3 )

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MADAMI NO DUDE DON'T TRY TO WORK ACROSS THE ISLE WITH THE ORANGE NAZI MAN CMON DUDE WE LIKE YOU YOUR IDEAS ARE GOOD DONT DO THIS :(

The context if you don't have it: Mandami, the new york governor who actually has good ideas, unfortunately is trying to reason with Trump. Misguided in my opinion, you don't negotiate with fascists.

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First part of a romantic-tragedy fantasy short story between a 20-something femboy being persued by witchhunters for his magical powers and the kindly dragon lady who gives him shelter

It's a unconventional romantasy story that's SFW, but maybe bare in mind that it's kind of a Romeo and Juliet type thing, and that this is only the first part

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I know this is a silly thing for me, an asexual person to weigh in on, but being panphobic, biphobic etc in the modern day is like... fucking insane to me

Like, you hate all queer ppl? Ok you're an asshole. You only hate trans ppl? Yeah sure buddy, im sure you're harboring no hidden homophobia at all. You don't think asexuality is real? Ok you're a willfully ignorant scared lil anti-intellectual bitch who doesn't wanna learn about others lived experiences outside of you're own, seen it a thousand other ways

But you like... don't think a person can be attracted to two or more genders? My guy that cat been out of the bag for awhile now. Sexuality and gender is a spectrum. Ya gotta pick a side because bi and pan ppl don't gotta do that for you lol

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So I was so happy with the stock market sim minigame from that WIP imsim that I made it into it's own little standalone browser game, STONKS! I also made a 3D logo for it:

You can play it on Itch.io HERE!

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Insanely bold prediction i have for the near-ish future: As indie games continue to trend in the direction of becoming more cultural relevant than AAA games, future "icons" of the gaming space will be *mostly* hugely influentual indie games like Stardew Valley, Hollow Knight, Creulty Squad, Ultrakill etc, and they'll be held in the same regard as the games that inspired them

so here's the real bold claim im putting out there: i think a decade or two from now, we're gonna see AAA studios (assuming they still exist in some form, which i think they probably will) try to capitalize on this by licensing the rights to currently noteworthy indie games to make HD remakes and remasters of them, because i feel like most AAA in the current space won't really be remembered all that fondly, based purely on the indie dev sphere slowly becoming the default in many ppl eyes, or at least the more culturally relevant space of games

but like... can you imagine an HD remake of fucking cruelty squad? what the fuck would that even look like? ofc i feel like a big company would butcher it but i still *kinda* wanna see it out of a morbid curiosity

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Screenshots from the imsim im working on:

Yes, that's a functioning real-time stock market, creulty squad style

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sooo i spent most of today programming a functional stock market in Godot for that hobbyist imsim i was making, so my brain is pretty fried and i have gone from my ekko.eccentric_goth_bat_campy state (i use an enum for that, match for ekko_currentState) to ekko.that_bat_from_fern_gulley_that_i_had_crush_on_as_a_child_for_some_reason_? so needless to say im running all the silly processes on _physics_process(delta)

(if this is incoherent rambling, please disregard)

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been prototyping a immersive sim in the first time in awhile. i wanna get back into hobby dev, ive been taking creating too seriously so i wanna make smaller less self serious projects just for funs sake.

it's honestly been rly fun. idk what the fuck is wrong with me but i love creating really mechanically crunchy games. amoung other things i set up a damage system for the gunplay where damage is calculated based on the virtual width of the round, the velocity of the muzzle and the distance away from the shot (like how it's done in Psycho Patrol). also sound, carrying objects, interaction, enemy ai, inventory etc

im in an odd situation where i know i should probably just make a level prototype already but i might not for awhile bc im having a lot of fun setting up new systems and what not (don't worry i will make the first level eventually, then ill release it on itch when it's polished

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Weirdly specific types of ppl i adore:

-terminally online gremlin good ending (instead of becoming a groyper/redpill they got really into Cruelty Squad and telling Elon Musk to kill himself like his favorite German guy on Twitch while he loses at a game he cheated at)

-aging woman who's just now figuring out she's Autistic/ADHD and suddenly her whole life makes sense

-extremely chill scruffy non-toxic dudebro stoner with a heart of gold and several pre-rolled joints on him in a ziplock bag at most times

-Nonbinary but in a "I AM THE GENDERMEISTER. MY HAIR IS THE BLUEST OF THEM ALL. I HAVE CLAIMED A THOUSAND PRONOUNS AND I SHALL CLAIM YOUR'S AS WELL" kind of way

-The furry who's bizarrely philosophical and/or hyperliterate (hi)

-"I need everything to be soft. i need my bed to be soft. my partner to be soft, both figuratively and literally. everyones words with me to be soft. i am constantly on the verge of tears and a panic attack"

-artist who's entire style and creative voice is based on one specific obscure piece of media they saw as a kid at way too young of an age

-artist who's creative voice is experimental to the point of being utterly deranged and at times borderline alien but when you talk to them in any other context they seem quirky and socially anxious in a chill way, until you get to know them more and more and suddenly the artistic insanity makes a bit more sense (hi again)

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Im happy to inform yall that i have been getting back into music a bit, and i have some new stuff coming out soon!

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ART DUMP TIME

also this video collage:

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Holy shit y'all, 5000 views total on this site! i can't thank you all enough, it's wonderful to see that there are ppl out there who at least have seen my work, if not connected to it

Tbh i haven't been creating as much the past couple of weeks, around this time of year the colder weather shocks my body a bit and it takes a bit of time for me to adjust to the cold, and my emotional state kind of suffers bc of it, i get really depressive and emotional stay in bed a lot. don't worry though, once my body gets used to it it's usually fine for the season, i just live in a warm place so this is the only time of year that gets even a bit chilly for a few months. i have been working on a couple things a bit but not as actively as usual

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Post found on a Steam forum for the game Pseudoregalia:

Y'all you don't understand. My day is unironically much better now. This is genuinely the funniest shit I've seen in months and I'm only maybe like 45% sure that's it's satire. Maybe that estimate is skewed by bias though bc I don't want it to be. There is an actual possiblity that somewhere out there, there is a real person, possibly a grown man, who got on the Pseudoregalia forums to diccusion of this Not Furry game he's played... and thought this was a normal thing to say in this or any scenario

He sounds like an alien who immediately got into groyper manosphere shit upon arriving to Earth and doesn't understand what a cartoon is or the diffence between reality and a game where a stoic goat lady collects keys to unlock a door so she can fight a princess. "Such in life in Marxworld tho." is what rly completes for me. It sounds like Psycho Patrol dialogue omg. I could not create a strawman as flimsy than this. I am not joking when I say the possiblity of this being satire is genuinely sad to me. I now want everyone in the altright to be this braindead the news would be so much funnier. This has shown me new kinds of stupid I did not know to be possible

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inside u there are 2 lvl.1 enemies: the Kindness Goblin and the Sadness Slime. to show urself compassion feed the Emotional Jelly (MISC ITEM) that the Sadness Slime dropped (86% drop rate so don't worry you probably won't have to grind much if at all) to the Kindness Goblin to lvl them up all the way to lvl.5 and they'll give you Love Gem (KEY ITEM) which can be used to mend the hearts of those around you for a whopping 95% of their maximum health. this will unlock the side quest We're All In This Together (no relation to high school musical it was just the best translation to read like the original Japanese version of the game) and completeing this quest will unlock the boon Sense of Community. Side quest COMPLETE. This is a good metaphor for mutual aid and not convoluted at all i think

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sorry about all the depressing leftist rambling today. woke up kinda late feeling like shit and i just had a lot on my mind. although tbh the AI Bubble thing is kinda just a PSA for ppl who maybe aren't caught up on *why* the bubble is stupid, i feel like most ppl know the problem is less the raw tech and more the bullshit surrounding it but idk maybe some ppl still are a bit confused by all the buzzwords thrown around? tech bros are rly good a jargoning their way out of ppl asking them basic question about their products and why we should care so idk lol

ill have to try to have smth creative out soon, tbh iv I've been going through a log emotionally recently and I've felt both isolated and like i don't have the energy to spend time with my family more or less express myself creatively so y'know

i was working on a hack and slash/tps prototype in godot recently, i should probably start coming up with art direction for that now that the core mechanics are finished. also still need to upload sound stuff to archive and share it here

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on the "AI" thing again: i feel like most ppl know this by now, but rly the problem with the "AI Revolution" isn't really the technology itself, just how it's being dangerously overhyped and how poorly optimized OpenAIs shitty models are

like machine learning and even "generative" ai has been around for years and has niche usecases, and even for more quasi-creative stuff it's probably fine as a niche hobbyist thing or maybe as last ditch effort brainstorming effort for an artist to then actually write or draw something from scratch on their own (tbh i still think random word generators are an infinitely tool for that). the problem is that they're marketing this technology as a huge, revolutionary thing and have used it to declare an imaginary war on art bc their salty that they don't have a creative bone in their body, and that some of these LLMs basically drink more water than us solely bc large American companies have zero insensitive to optimize their software and no issue wrecking the environment for profit.

Also copyright infringement is only cool when *people* do it /hj when corporations do it it's shitty and exploitative

tl;dr the problem with AI is less AI itself and more companies overhyping their large language models like they're something more than language tools to create an economic bubble, and wrecking the planet bc they don't wanna bother optimizing their LLMs even though it's entirely possible to do so

oh yeah and also ppl will schizophrenia REALLY shouldn't be using ChatGPT or any other LLM. Eddie Burback did a great video in that (also if you REALLY need a LLM for some specific language type thing, plz plz use Deepseek or some lightweight open source model you can run on your own computer instead, bc that's much better for the environment. ChatGPT is really bad for the environment y'all)

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Y'know, a thing ive been thinking about a lot about is how the ppl most left behind by the manosphere thing are all the noncomfortist men who see through the bullshit of Joe Rogan and shit, but instead of being encouraged or even rly allowed to join the conversation, they're ignored by shitlibs and seldom mentioned by even progressives bc "look at these crazy weirdos with bad opinions" or "pRoFoRmaTIvEs mAlEs: are they bad?" is a more algo-friendly headline than "hey a lot of men who don't conform to the hypermasculine status quo are extra concerned about the manosphere thing, we should ask for their input"

i think this problem is also self-perpetuating bc a lot of these guys (the non-confomist ones) just grow more and more disdainful of not only ppl like Rogan or the grifters themselves, but also the guys there grifter,

which just adding on to the problem of seeing the ppl getting rubed as Bad Men Who Were Secretly Always Like This and Poor Innocent Young Women Who Are Being Unknowingly Manipulated Into Being Tradwives And Femcels, and not what they actually are: a bunch of vulnerable and gullible young people who've indoctrinated by a bunch of fascists, and all need to be dragged out of the mud before they've been fully indoctrinated into to nazism and its too late

(Also... yeah. kinda fucked up that the men are being demonize while the women are being infantilized. It's wild to me how many ppl who think they have a progressive view on gender straight up believe in biological fundemental without realizing it and aren't willing to confront those sexist biases. to be clear everyone involved in this weird alt-right gender movement are both perpetrator and victim, except for the ppl like Tim Pool, Joe Rogan etc at the very top who are just fully the ones at fault)

anyway i guess the TERFs got what they wanted in the end. not even ppl agreeing with them, just normalizing weird biological fundamentalism to throw a wrench in the antifascist resistance. tbh its kind of perfect, in a depressing way, bc the TERF movement/grift was kinda a precursor to femcel and tradwife stuff

stay safe y'all, be yourself. don't conform to something just bc everyone else is. fight for what's right. what you believe. time itself is a cycle and we will all overcome this :3

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random art tips:

-restraint isn't actually useful for art, most teachers just aren't sure how else to teach artistic intent and verisimilitude, so they use a concept of "restraint" to guide beginners to fall into an artistic commitment. a better way to do this is to simply always consider WHY you're doing any given thing, rather than thinking in a subtractive way and hoping you luck into it

-learning anatomy, form and lighting isn't about learning realism or even really how things "should" look. it's more important to learning how something is constructed in a more general sense so you can abstract it from a baseline. you don't really need to be able to draw it realistically so much as understand how a given thing is supposed to work (like how eyelids are shaped or how your skeletons broader structure is

-this one's an obvious/beginner one, but just in case: complex things can be broken down into simple things (like cubes and spheres and stuff), then you can add smaller more complexity as you go (or just keep it simple if that's your jam)

-"the fundamentals of art" are just there to give you guidelines. they aren't ineffable rules, they're just mental tools that give you a place to start from, learn them so you can bend to your will!

-color theory is useful and you should learn it. it's also pretentious bullshit. unlike anatomy or perspective and form (which can still be bent if it fits you're artistic intentions for a piece) color theory is entirely made up and largely subjective. there are no rules that say what colors look goo together, but some dead guys still needed to add smth to the artists creative toolbelt for colors and color theory was their best attempt, and given the extremely abstract subject matter of *checks notes* just colors, in general, they did probably the best job they could have lol

-another color theory thing: saturation and hue are wayyy less consistently important than having contrasting values, unless you're doing eyestrain usually you want different values. that said, higher saturation is generally more vibrant and lively, maybe even surreal or psychedelic in the right context, and more neutral tones are usually either gloomy or naturalistic. ofc you can still do moody and melecholic stuff with saturated colors (like one of my all-time favorite films, the metal-inspired arthouse horror/action "Mandy") and and have more muted tones in a really trippy work (Mason Lindroth's "Hylics", another favorite of mine)

-like all blanket statements, take this with a grain of salt, but: teachers who advocate for only using neutral tones, never deviating from naturalistic anatomy or representation, and generally just worship the vapid aesthetics of greek statues washed of their original paint dont exactly inspire confidence in me, personally. i say this more from experience, ive been set back by teachers like this

-art at it's core is communication. the message of a piece, whether that narrative themes or just the emotions you're trying to convey in a painting, are way more important than just making the prettiest thing

-more polished art isn't nessessarily better art. in fact, perfectly polished art tends to be very boring, and the worst thing art can be is entirely uninteresting. sometimes imperfections is evocative

-this last one is gonna sound rly weird but hear me out: most of the time when you have a bad drawing day, you're either overthinking it or - and yes im serious - drawing to slow or too quickly, but usually too slow. the speed and cadence at which you draw really effects the quality. when you draw with energy at a comfortable tempo, it comes out in you're brush strokes, partly bc you get into a groove and you're intuition kicks in. this is especially important if you're a more analytical person like myself

hope some of these might help, or at least offer a new way of looking at things. i have some new pieces i need to upload to the internet archive so ill try to do that soon

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ive been replaying Hylics recently and y'all its so good

ppl talk about how weird and surreal it is, and yeah, but its weird and surreal in such an oddly chill and laidback way, like i know ppl describe tones of surreal games as "acid trips" but this game feels like the game equivalent of psychedelic rock, not just in the soundtrack but just in that it feels like a rly weird trip, and put you in that headspace

also im pretty sure this games liek 4$ on steam, id recommend it its not wildly long or anything, like a couple hours at most, but it's super replayable bc of how open ended and vibey it is. its also like an actual game and not *just* a cool art piece, it has it's own balancing mechanics and everything. i rly like games that can do both artistically moving AND genuinely fun

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sry to vent on the miniblog, but: been having rly existential thoughts about *why* i care about art so much, the humanity and realness of it

i know that sounds weird bc im an artist myself and, well, *gestures at this entire wildly experimental website*, but it's weird bc i want art to feel real and authentic, clearly made by a human being with a worldview and tastes and a personality, despite the fact i... don't really like other people in general very much. at worst i resent them and feel unsafe around them, and at best I feel bad about taking time away or inconveniencing someone i rly like, or at least respect. im very asocial, much more than most ppl, and even with ppl i know and love i still like to keep a distance most of the time

but idk why i want that human connection of art when i don't even like human connection on a social level, at least not too intimately

i don't rly have an answer to that, i don't rly think you can answer that. its the weird way my brain works. i feel like a walking contradiction sometimes

EDIT: been a thinking about this more, and I kinda thing me being hyper-introverted is actually WHY i like that human connection in art, bc it's the best way i can relate to ppl on a closet level. maybe im a little fucked up, i had a rly traumatic upbringing (particularly in schooling, my family was mostly fine and had my back tbh and did an alright job all things considered, but i faced a lot of harsh bigotry for my disability in elementary and middle school, being an autistic kid with emotional problems in 2000s Florida was rough) so that could be part of why ppl make me so nervous, i wasn't always treated right by. maybe some day i can start to give ppl a chance

//

YouTube thumbnails are getting weird y'all. i just saw one that was i guess about some anti woke grifter(?) and it just said on one side "homophobic and racist comments" and like yeah ok but on the other side it said "gagging at the taste of water" with a picture of him trying Fuji water and i think not liking it??? he... doesn't like fuji water i guess? or maybe he choked on it? is that... relevant somehow? i feel like clickbait used to be more normal than this which is saying smth. like it's not wven click bait its confusion bait. the internet is all kinds of fucked up

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What are my thoughts on the Halo remake?

Joke answer: Many years ago... time passes so queerly... I was an artist. I sought perfection in all things. So, seeking to be inspired, I traveled to this city, a place of pure form. It was perfect. It destroyed me. Nothing could be created which was not a pathetic mockery of the objects of the city. The finest works paled in comparison. In the face of such beauty I felt corrupted, an animal. Our world meant nothing. We were all graceless, creatures of slime. I was practically comatose for months when I realized what I had to do. Don't you see? The perfection of the city left us impotent. We have to destroy that we can build again! It's still not enough, you know. Even now I can feel echoes of that perfect world, in the chance permutations of our broken copy. Perhaps another GREAT CHANGE... Yes... And more, until it becomes self-perpetuating... A ceaseless chaos of forms. Perhaps I already have. Perhaps we've had this conversation many times, you and I, with places exchanged... Heh. Better to reign in Hell that serve in Heaven...... motherfuckerrrrrr! Enjoy your perfect world...

Serious answer: tbh I have no relation to the Halo games other than cultural osmosis, but I 100% can empathize with distraut Halo fans bc this remake looks bland and overpolished as hell, which is a shame for remaking what was, appearently, a very experimental game for it's day, and despite my distance from the original I'm annoyed with the ppl defending this remake on principle. Still not as bad as the Deus Ex remake though lol

//

Sorry for the absense, I've been going through some shit.

But i also bought an older (and therefore cheaper lol) version of RPG Maker (XP) and I've been having a lot of fun with that!

Here's my "learning project":

(The picture is a link btw. You can click it to go to the itch_io page)

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I feel like so much Bad Gaming Discourse just comes from AAA normies not understanding that games can and should be made for specific and different tastes

Like, "Should games have an easy mode?" Some should, some shouldn't, some should just be easy, and some should have an easy mode that's still difficult as shit. No one game should try to appeal to everyone, devs should just make what they'd like to see, and ppl who like the same thing can play it. that's how it is in the indie game space and how it used to be in the studios too, until the creative power was taken away from the game designers and to the business people. God forbid a game be made as a creative endeavors from the creator's own artistic outlook, and not just a glossy product devoid of humanity. (but tbh that's kinda a problem in most creative fields, not only games but also movies and music etc)

Anyway a related update: im back working on Mixtape Delinquents (my big indie immersive sim dream game project) just so you know, just started on a level that'll come a bit later called Degen Alley, I'll try to keep any updates spoiler-free when they come

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Y'know, i know i say this as a non-binary gender deviant who hasn't felt bodyshame (about my weight, at least) for a long time...

But if we really wanna get rid of fatphobia once and for all, we need to stop pretending its solely a women's issue for some weird goddamn reason

there's this bizarre shitlib-adjacent belief that only women face fatphobia, or that it's not as bad on the other side of the gender binary

and yes i know patriarchal society loves pretending human and/or societal issues don't exist for men bc that would require allowing men to step out of the line they're forced into and allowing them to be vulnerable and express their emotions freely, but usually it's rooted in some sort of rigidly enforced expectation of masculinity or smth

what's weird to me about ignoring fat phobia against men is that it's like... a self contained cultural delusion. there's no toxic masculinity or perverse financial incentives to ignoring fatphobia towards masc ppl, it's just a weird nonsensical belief that a lot of shitlib types have that's easily falsifiable just by... showing fatphobia towards guys? why do shitlibs believe this? Fatphobia isn't even that different across the gender spectrum, it's just applied in whatever way fits that gender identity's stereotype the most seemlessly

anyway regardless of you're gender identity or body type, be kind to yourself, and don't let the world tell you you're less than just bc ur shaped different, and also if you're a man and you've been emotionally hurt by mean comments about your body, it's ok to admit your feelings have been hurt, you have a right to feel you're emotions, and you are absolutely, as a human being, entitled to talk about your feelings with someone you trust and/or cry (yes, even ugly sobbing with tears gushing down your face, curled in the fetal position in bed if that's what it is that you need. That's normal and healthy and no one should emasculate or infantize you for that, you're a person who fundamentally deserves to feel the full range of his emotions :3 )

Addendum: it's worth noting that buff women are stigmatized and made to feel insecure in a very different way than skinny/lanky men are (not to see its nessessarily worse or less bad, just that the body shaming comes from a very different gendered place) but fat ppl of any gender are going to be the most shamed for our bodies bc our society hates fat ppl (which imo is stupid bc we're soft and huggable but that's getting more into my dorkass fluffy aesthetic/sensual preference lol). also this is ofc from a Western (or at least American) perspective, idk how it is in other cultures but i do know fat phobia does exist in some parts of the East as well

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one of my genuinely favorite things in modern capitalism is a when a company that's doing fine that has had no controversies, who's business model is entirely reliant on just offering a nessessary utility like a hardware or grocery store, does a "radical rebrand" where their like "look guys we're reinventing our company's whole brand image and making it MODERN" and everyone's like "uhh ok...? you guys still have lightbulb though right?" and PR just kinda has to be like "yeh"

its so fucking funny to me every time bc no one ever gives a shit and they were gonna buy a light bulb there either way, so they basically just wasted a bunch of money for Cool Points™ that does not effect their bottom line whatsoever. it's the very best kind of farcical modern corpo bullshit

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I've recently had to replace my laptop - the old one, which had been on it's last limb for awhile, finally kicked the bucket due to the bucket due to the battery no longer taking power input :( - and while it's sad to see the tool I used to express myself creatively for five years, THIS NEW ONE HAS A FANCY-ASS AMD PROCESSOR WITH RADEON GRAPHICS HOLY SHIT!

Also the display is incredible and it's a device actually made for creatives specifically (it's a lenovo idea pad if ur curious), I was suprised how much better the CPU/on board graphics were than on an i5

So far my only reak complaint (so far) is that the keyboard is shifted slightly to what im used to and the trackpad still doesn't have dedicated buttons, but so it goes with laptops lol

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Creative Pro-tip: Discipline, motivation and willpower are fine to use as fuel in moderation, but all three of those things are fickel and dangerous to rely on

what you need is a "why", a reason to justify to yourself why you're doing what you do. having a reason for doing something is the only reliable way to keep doing creative work, because your "why" is how you rekindle your passion. i wouldn't have been nearly as prolific if i didn't find some sort of excuse to convince myself to keep going

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if video game adaptations become the new MCU dribble for a bit then they might make a Cruelty Squad adaptation and i don't trust the old business dudes to understand how tf you would even begin to adapt Cruelty Squad. that'd be hard even u understand Cruelty Squad. You'd probably have to go full on Wachowsky Sister's Speed Racer (2008) to even begin, more or less justify adapting it to film

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Art dump:

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Hot take: i don't think it's that autistic/ADHD brains aren't "deficient" per se, i think it's that the deficiencies of the neurodivergent brain - like a lack of stress management and difficulty doing certain tasks consistently - are more personal and affect the neurodivergent person themselfs as well as their immediate support system of loved ones, whereas the deficiencies of the neurotypical brain - like mob mentally, potentially having flexible morals in a given social situation, and a inate inability to process information in mass - aren't rly problems for them as individuals, but can and often do negatively society as a whole, since neurotypicals are often very good at convincing each other to believe and keep believing idiotic, often hateful things that they should otherwise no better than to think.

Ofc, both have benefits, some of which can make up for this. Neurodivergent ppl's blight of overprocessing information means we generally learn more quickly and are far more hardwired for critical thinking rather than an anticritical self-imposed groupthink and means we don't take things for granted, whereas neurotypicals inability to process that much information at once makes their lives much less stressful, and they can communicating things with each other without nessessarily having to fully understand how they're communicating that with so little information

But i kinda have to wonder why the conversation is always around ADHD or Autistic ppl when neurotypicals struggles, unlike ours, are felt not by them, but on society as whole. as per writing this ive been having a days long autistic shutdown, and it sucks and I wouldn't wish this experience on anyone neurotypical or otherwise, but why are we talking about me when the neurological issues of those without a disorder are causing society stagnation and regression

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ya know, im starting to realize a big part of why the world and internet sucks now, is bc social media gave ppl who peaked in highschool a platform to be infantile and wretched on, but actually get heard

like ofc former popular kids (or at least trust fund kids rich enough to feign popularity) have always resented the nerds and artists and theater kids who ended up being more fulfilled and/or successful than them in the long-term,

But plattorms like TikTok give these non-chalant losers a place where they can effectively hang out with teenagers (which yeah is creepy when you put like that) and never have to grow out of their highschool mean girl/douchey jock antics bc it never ends for them

Anti intellectualism gets ramped up, these types of people lean into the heteronormativity of their highschool years, and then incels can worm their way into nerd culture (the antiwoke ppl are deadass the actual fake nerds btw, they have no passion for the media they pretend to love, they don't like nerdy stuff tney just like yelling at minority-shaped clouds) and then these assholes get people amped up about a vague notion of "wokeness" and you can great this falsely two sided issue between two right-wing sides of a (in truth) one sided argument

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Sorry I haven't been very active as of late, I'm going through a rough time in my life. I'll be ok, but I just hope things get better in the world so I can get myself out there. I've felt stuck lately :(

But I have been doing some stuff. I have a new song called "All American Anti-Chirst" that you can get here. I also have a new one coming out next month called "Change Our Minds?" and if you use spotify you can pre-save it here

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Working on another animated short film rn! this one's gonna be more of a traditional narrative, rather than my typical tone poetry or surreal comedy

here's some "behind the scenes" ;)

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haven't been eating as much recently, mainly bc i don't have the energy to make myself anything to eat. it doesn't really feel like im cycling though, weirdly. im just tired. Hope this rut doesn't last long :(

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I only have a passing conception of Space Jam, but i think the real problem problem with Lola Bunny is that she has no gun, hitlist or tragic backstory. if you're gonna make a cartoon bunny person who fucks, what you obviously do (from a natural evolution of narrative tropes) is make them a jaded mercenary whos out for revenge for the mobsters that killed her husband. instead her boyfriend is currently alive, and for some reason she's a basketball player(?) so the sexy rabbit lady thing just comes too out of left field.

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A bit of post-production practice! Wanna make a live-action film rly badly, but I'm stuck inside rn due to *gestures vaguely at everything*

I edited this with Shotcut. The footage was daytime and I wanted it to look like night so I had to go super stylized with it (which is fine bc i like stylized cinematography anyway). The street part was stock footage, the matte painting in the background was a Unsplash stock photo I had edited prior and was added in with some simple masking techniques. The weird sci-fi street light I just modeled real quick in blender and then just rendered it has a transparent PNG and composited in to the frame.

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been watching old movies lately, and after watching both The Crow (brought me back to my goth phase, incredible cinematic style, some incredible fight choreography made great by real emotional stakes and surprising good character writing) and then Tank Girl (undeniably a film based on a comic by the Gorillaz guy.) ive come to the conclusion that 90s comic book movies were VERY hit or miss

tbh i think we should bring this back. sure Tank Girl is an abomination and im still not sure when it was actually trying to be funny and when it was just hilariously bad, but every comic book film now is guaranteed mid and bland and is exclusively trying to be "faithful" while being embarrassed of it's source material and imo that's worse

I'd love to see a hyper-stylized Johnny The Homicidal Maniac adaptation in the vain of The Crow, even if it means a baffling adaptation of The Mas- oh yeah Jim Carrie already did that then nvm. (also did you know the original The Mask indie comic is actually an exploration of the wrong type of person getting superpowers? Like Megamind but more graphically violent and without a big head blue guy to help. i was also surprised to learn that)

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Been practicing some VFX establishing shots of fantastical/futuristic cities

Most of this stuff was inspired by old film techniques like minitures and matte paintings, been hyperfixated on this stuff lately lol

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Sometimes I've been think about how, some day, a whole generation of kids are gonna look back on shareholder-trendy generative AI like we look back on Smellovision or all the goofy flash-in-pan tech fads of the 90s and 2000s, they're gonna look at all the model collasped ai freakouts and they're gonna be like "wow people back these weird images and fancy autocomplete software were really thought this stuff was the future huh? People really were stupid back then" not realising that a lot of people see through it even now, but it makes me think about how I've often looked back on dumb ideas of the past and assumed that *everyone* thought it was a good idea, which probably wasn't true. Like it's insane that some people assume I language tool can be trusted with doing math (you already have a calculator for that?) but also I and others are here saying, "Hey ChatGPT is just a language tool please don't trust it to put out factual information or do math correctly that was never what these LLMs were created for." while fucking Altman is like "yeah sure our Chatbots that run on a more advanced version of autocomplete can do math problems we're not legal responcible if it gets anything wrong though haha."

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Just watched the first bit of Fantastic Planet. I can see why this film's a cult classic for sure, but it's one of those things I'm gonna have to watch in small chunks, given the heavy subject matter.

So far, at least, definately would reccomend if you're a fan of animation and/or arthouse films, but know that it's dealing with some themes like anthropocentricism and animal cruelty in a pretty intense and challenging way.

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Been playing Metal Gear Solid 2 for the first time recently and holy shit i love it. I've played a lot of unhinged games before but this one's it's own thing entirely

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Y'know, ofc "punch a Nazi" is a valid statement, but rly i think the best solution is just making fascist expression an illegal hate crime

did ya just zeig heile? draw a swastika on something? said some nazi shit? You're edgelord furry hater joke caught exposed as a dog whistle? Ur going in the slammer, buddy.

ofc the American prison industrial complex also does need to be reformed but if the suggestion above happened first i wouldn't complain all that much lol

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Been super sick recently, idk with what. Been feeling dizzy and nauseus, not super fun

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Rest in pieces Mr. Kirk. You're eugenics-horny neo-natalist ass will not be missed lol

But all jokes aside, don't moralize about that guys death. He was a neo-nazi and the far-right doesn't give a shit about stopping politically motivated violence as evident by the *checks notes* racially-motivated genocide of Latin Americans going on in this country right now. MAGA is only moralizing about political violence bc they don't want someone to "do the thing" bc oh boy do Americans really want someone to do that thing I can't explicitly spell out for legal reasons. hey btw u have a Cheeto stain on ur face u should clean that off sorry unrelated to what i was talking about.

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The Garden is back up ;)

it has a little more going on now

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"Ghost Room"

Short Film, Surreal/Arthouse

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"Null Intentions"

Short Film, Psychological Horror

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"Normal Mall"

Short Film, Comedy/Surreal/Arthouse/Absurdist

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"The Donut That Makes You Sad", Short Film, Horror-Comedy/Absurdist

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Man I'm kinda sad this morning but like... not for any particularly reason? Just bc last night was kinda exhausting

Should probably start the day doing something fun and/or rewarding to feel better...

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Ekkochambers now has an intro page! The main page (this one ofc) is now https://ekkochambers.neocities.org/!-Main_Page

If you run into any technical isssues because of this, please let me know in the C-Box or email me at ianorianaspencer@gmail.com so I can fix it

//

I try to keep the mentality of waking up every morning and saying "The universe has allowed me to live another day. God does not strike me down with lightening for my sinful lifestyle because He fears what I will do in vengence if He tries, and now I must, through my artistic expression, make the gloriously blasphemous universal anomoly of my non-deadness everyone else's problem. Put this on an inspirational poster". ~Me

Edit: !!!!IMPORTANT UPDATE WEBZINE!!!

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PSA: GenAI is NOT getting better. in fact, it's actually getting worse because of model collaspe. Don't be fooled, this technology is not inevitable, it's a fucking economic bubble that's pulsating like a pussfilled bubo that's ready to pop. Panicking about it "destroying art" is what these tech bro web3 shitheads WANT you to do because it gives their farcical juiced-up autocomplete models more legitimacy than they're worth. OpenAI has never turned a fucking profit and subsides entirely on imagined shareholder value. they lose money every time ppl use their shitty tech. don't believe the hype

just sharing this bc some artists still seem to think that this technology is an actual threat in an economic sense. much like replacing factory and service workers with physical robots, it's still cheaper to just hire real ppl bc in reality robots are fucking expensive bc they make crazy mistakes and are expensive to run and maintain, ChatGPT or Mid journey is no exception. Companies KEEP losing profits when they incorporate generative AI (which again, relies on train data made by humans to actually get better, something theyre out of) but slapping "AI" on smth rn makes you're stock prices shoot up like the moon bc bubble. tbh this is gonna be worse for tech workers, unfortunately, than creatives in the long run bc the tech industry is groveling for SOMETHING, bc they require infinite growth but the fucking smart phone has already been invented

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A heads up: I'm about to be doing some light reorganizing of the site. Not anything HUGE nor worthy of putting a big "Under Construction" up by any means, but i'm gonna be moving a couple things around, just wanted to let everybody know in case you refresh the page and it's a little different lol

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My latest short film, "Interview With The Horrible Little Man Who Lives Under The Sink"

you can ofc also find it on my videos page

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The videos page now has some links "video collection" pages, one for short films and one for music videos. This will be a way to organize them

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"Void Elevator", Short Film, Surreal Existential Comedy/Absurdist

also on the videos page ofc

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Hey, big news: I have a dedicated "videos" page here, filled with my weird little short films, music videos and probably at some point other stuff! It probably already has some stuff you might not have seen

If you like weird animated shorts (or even just my art and music) I'd recommend giving it a whirl. It's also on the left sidebar now!

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Another one of these

Wanted to try some more subtle acting with this weird lil guy

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Been listening to a lot of psychdelic rock recently. I think it'd be fun to make an album in that style at some point. Still need to upload that EDM album to bandcamp, though...

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A spooky one

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Another faux-claymation experiment

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a faux claymation test I did in blender. In terms of the movement, I think I nailed the claymation look, in no small part bc I used a process similiar to real claymation. The materials could use some work though, it could look more clay-like, and I did prep it for chroma keying (green screen, for those who didn't take film in highschool) quite poorly, there's green light bouncing right on the model (another material issue, the IOR was too high)

I like this little faux-clay guy as well, has tons of personality!

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been playing the first Silent Hill game, not exactly for the first time but im rly giving it a dedicated chance now, and god is this game good! You can definately see how a lot of the series traditions started in this one, I love the little ways it fucks with you and the weird cerebral nature of it all. Also rly graphically impressive for it's day, has a really cinematic quality to it as well. Rn i'm on the Elementary School in the Otherworld

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tbh i'm glad they didn't have video games in the 1950s. can you imagine if they're was a hays code for video games. "All pixelated communists must be killed for the game to progress" or some shit. queercoding in games would have been awful. the timeline could be worse.

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A new demo update for MTD, with major balancing tweaks and graphical updates

Get it on Itch.io HERE

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The second installment of my Ludum Dada series is out, a Pong clone with a quasi-gothic theme. You can play it on the browser HERE. You can also find it on the GAMES PAGE. Have fun play spooky pong!

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Art dump time! Some character drawings

EDIT: I also REALLY love the jackalope femboy character (from this first picture). He's got so much angsty personality, also plus-size femboys are super cute and often don't the apprication they deserve

And ofc the chubby goth bat enby (That's me my sona. hi!)

I wanna give Ekko a hug and maybe a cuddle, they'd be soft and they have built-in blanket on their back uwu

Ugh, sorry getting so mushy about my fursona, I just love them so much. Their so cute and cool i wanna be their best friend :P

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I have a new free browser game out: Ludum Dada: Freakout!

it's a breakout clone with a trippy artstyle. I've also update the Games Page

Have fun with it :3

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I've come close to beating Hylics twice already. It's still good the second time weirdly? The games all trippy vibes, it's very meditative

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Everything feels likes it's been falling apart recently. idk why this feeling feels new since the worlds kinda been fucky for awhile, but that's how my brain works ig

BTW: finished another Hellcaster page (dont wanna share it yet though and i've been hard at work on the script

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I've been working on Hellcaster a bit more, as well as Mixtape Delinquents! I've been in quite the rut for the past while, which realy started when I had that leg pain, which is gettin better now. It's quite nice to be creative again!

I'll have more info on the progress in just a little bit ;3

Buuut in the meantime, I've made a documentation of my 3D-to-2D process for Hellcaster on the Internet Archive, so chuck that out

Also a bit from the Hellcaster script:

(Yeah I know I spelled "too" wrong lol, im just realizing this now so there's smth I gotta fix)

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I just finished Hylics and holy shit was that whole game a vibe. So surreal, void of meaning yet anything but vapid, really proving style itself can be subtance in its own right. I would reccomend it if you like weird art and oldschool JRPGs. im pretty sure it's like 4$ bucks on steam, it's cheap, anyway. Took me 6.7 hours to beat but I did get lost a lot lol

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Marvel was rly like "yeah you know The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny? lets make it real" and everyone was just like "yeah ok" for a lil bit. wack.

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sry for any momentary issues with the sight, ive done some maintenance stuff to make it a bit better on various monitor sizes and slightly more usable mobile browsers

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Anti-villians are inherently goofy bc imagine if there was a political debate and a progressive candidate was actually like, "Well, class disparity, neoliberal economics and monopolies are the biggest problems facing young Americans."

Then everyone's like, "Alright awesome you're totally right. What's you're solution?" and he's like, "I'm glad you asked! I for one think working class Americans should have easy access to forbidden eldrict knowledge and blood of the Old Ones, so they may ascend into a faustian godhood. Once they complete this guided evolution into their new grotesque form, they will have a better chance at competeing this the ultra-wealthy." And everyone afterwords is like "I really liked presidential candidate Averoth Wormwood before he got into the weird Lovecraftian stuff. I liked his ideas about universal basic income, regulating corporations and universal healthcare but his transhumanist views were a tad too radical if you ask me."

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New Indie Shit I Like webzine! Read it here!

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sometimes i wonder why i got bones. so quaint.

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ART DUMP TIME :D

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I'm kinda psyched for the PPR gambling update bc look at this:

hey uh what the fuck is happening Ville?? This is gonna destroy my brain can't wait

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Hey, small lil update, but the "about me" section is now it's own dedicate page. I did this mainly to make it easier/more convenient for ppl to get to the miniblog, less scrolling now ;3

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Lowkey obsessed with this bass music producer solely bc everyone else in that scene names themselves shit like Rezz or Virtual Riot or whatever but she's like "hi y'all im Jessica Audiffred i make dubstep" truly the James Blake of her generation lol

in other news, typing HTML on my phone just now has not been fun TwT

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Sorry I haven't posted very much in awhile, I've been busy, tired and in a bad place :(

But I have been working on a bass music album! Here's one of the songs from it, named after this web hosting service :P

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I have a podcast now!

It's a meta-fictional music-comedy podcast styled after 2000s radio DJs. I play the character of Ekko Locria (my fursona) as they host a radio station in Saint Bedlam, Hell, which is a "long-running" show that has entertained Damned and Demons alike, but is "now available" to the world of the living.

The first episode - Side-A of the "two-sided" pilot - is a bit different than what's to come, as a running gag in this one is "technical" difficulties. (Mostly Ekko talking over the songs too much and a character called Meg interfereing. The poor bat's a little thrown off their groove, given the "bigger" audience and all ;)

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My leg's been getting a lot better. Turns out some of the more intense pain may have been psychosomatic. The cramp itself is also getting a lot better ofc, less and less lactic acid is in my system every day, so that's good.

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update on the leg thing: been doing stretching and other exercises which has been helping a lot

Currently have an awful pain in my leg. According to the doctor its probably lactic acid buildup in my joints, which tracks bc i have a history of that. There's a slim chance it could be smth more serious and im getting an X-ray for that just in case, but even the doctor said that seemed unlikely. not fun either way

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weird lil animation i did. kinda mundane but it's got a cool atmosphere

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hey y'all! You've likely already saw this on my sidebar to the right, but just in case you didn't, I have a new album out early on Bandcamp called bionicman

You can get it here!

if you look to your right (of the computer screen lol) there's instructions on how you can get it for free, if you can snatch up a Bandcamp code from the linked PDF ;3

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noir buny

and a sloppy warmup sketch lol

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I've been playing Psycho Patrol R recently. Great game, definately takes "no handholding" to a comical extreme, but if that's you're thing, i'd definately reccomend it!

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I feel a little better today. The world feels a little less hopeless today, weirdly enough.

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Ngl i've been feeling like shit lately, emotionally. I live in the US and it feels like there's this storm going on, and i don't know if i'll see the end of it. Been thinking a lot about death recently.

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UPDATE: Here's that "I'm Back" webzine

Hey Y'all! I'M BACK! >:3

I'll make a webzine soon to show what I've been doing artistically! uwu

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Issue two of my fiction webzine is out now: VOID: A Cosmic Dramedy #2

You might wanna read the first one first though!

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AN ACTUAL UPDATE REAL QUICK: pretty soon I will not be updating this website for about seven or so days, because im going on ANOTHER vaction w/ my family (i know, i just got home y'all) and this one will be at a cabin with no wifi and very little cell service. Tbh im not rly excited for this one but the whole family is going and it'll be a good excuse to work on my MTD and/or Hellcaster for a lil bit, since I'll have my computer w/out any wifi or cell service. Plus ive been to these cabin before and they are very cozy :P

don't worry though! I'll be back after that :3

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I've written a new webzine about not staying silent and speaking out for what you believe in. I think it's a rly important message rn, you can read it here or under the "WEBZINES" tab ;3

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ART DUMP TIME! :3

Hope y'all enjoy some of these :3

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Hey y'all: V5 of the Mixtape Delinquents Alpha-demo is out. It's the beginning of me solidifying the game design of MTD in practice! You can get it here!

For those who don't know, Mixtape Delinquents is a WIP indie immersive sim RPG set in a retrofuturistic dystopia ruled by a corpotocracy known as the Syndicate, who have taken over the US government and World Wide Web alike. It's very much a cyberpunk satire of the state of tech and politics, and is rich in both Deus Ex-and-Creulty Squad-inspired imsim gameplay and story rich dialogue. We see a bit more of the latter in the V5, particularly in the beginning of the (very unfinished) mall level with Lance

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I need to take gamedev less seriously, y'all. Work on smaller, sillier projects. Some of my best work in the medium of game design (like Netherpunk and Eyestrain D.Z.M.) has been when i was just goofing around and having fun, then the games were fun

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Holy crap yall! Thank you for 1000 visits! Im so glad this slice of the internet ive made for myself has been viewed by ppl 1000 times :3

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!!!EMERGENCY VACATION UPDATE!!!

hort.

resume regular activities

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If you have a sec, you should read this webzine in particular: VOID: A Cosmic Dramedy #1: it's the first in a series im doing, and its a story ive wanted to tell for a long time. It's a slice-of-slice dramedy of sort, it'll probably be release mostly in short snippets, like one scene at a time, but it'll be a bit serialized rather than episodic rly

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Update on the last post: Just wanted to let everyone know that there's an Ekko shrine now! You can get to it in the "Zines, Shrine and Blogs" Tab on the left side bar, or just click here

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idk if i ever mentioned this on this website, but my sona character's (this guy) name is Ekko, hence the name of this site. They're a very chaotic, aggresively non-binary vampire bat, but i'll save the details for a shrine webzine :3

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There's this cozy little loft where I (and my siblings) will be sleeping, although my poor kid brother is heartbroken and currently weeping over the fact that i'll be sleeping on a cushion rather than one of the beds. I was gonna sleep on this cushion anyway but the poor kid feels guilty becuz he thinks it's his "fault" :(

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My family and I are staying at a lil cabin. I don't get out of the house very often so this is a refreshing change of scenery ^^

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Going on vacation today! My parents's house is in need of repair, so they're going to Orlando and they invited me to tag along! *maybe* i'll give some updates on how it went :P

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Genuinely, everyone should go listen to Echo Alexander, and not just because we're mutuals on bsky lol. They're making some of the more interesting music ive seen in recent years, they have a distinct and unique style but they span styles. Hella underrated imo

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In this little area, im gonna post short lil blog posts like this one, about whatever: Random thoughts, updates, how life's been or even reccomendations. Just whatever comes to mind :p (By the way, the gallery is now it's own dedicated page :3