Pinned Post:

A teaser...

No, I will not further elaborate at this time ;3

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No, Trump isn't "literally hitler" bc Hitler died, like, a long time ago dude. Why are you getting fascist dictators confused, bro? Those two are different ones, it's not the same one every time. Even if he hadn't of killed himself he'd probably be dead by now anyway so like, I'm pretty it can't be the same guy???? They don't even look alike????

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My current mood is alternating between "Gawd, being non-binary is miserable. I hate that nothing is made for me and that a large majority of trans allies - and even some fucking trans ppl! - forget and disregard that I exist. It feels like every other thing said is a microaggression and I worry I'll never be accepted. Sometimes I wish I could have just settled for being a trans woman instead, it's not authentic to who I am, but at least I could have some kind of transition and be taken seriously by more ppl. Why'd I have to have a gender identity that has only social downsides? Why'd I have to pick the least respected gender catagory? How am I gonna be a respected artist if the world I live in has zero respect for people like me? Female artists are still not as respected as male ones, trans women even less, and even so society still respects women far more than enbies. I'm fucked and I'm losing hope..." and "thinking about anthro bunnies who are grumpy rn :3 "

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You (bad monster, my enemy): Luring humans into your liar for cruel and violent purposes

Me (big fuzzy bat monster [cute], fren): Luring humans into my liar and then asking them if they'll please, please hang out with me for a little bit?? yes that was a pizza and cookies you smelled, i can share it with you if you want and we can watch a movie, i just don't really wanna be alone rn hi my name is Ekko i would would really like if you hung out with me for awhile if that's fine with you i think humans a really neat btw :3

(in character for my sona and a sign of my current state of executive dysfunction turned melancholy ill be fine. Also kind of a cute concept though, i love playing up the "dark scary villain-coded but actually a big softie sweetheart" thing lol)

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I was watching Eyepatch Wolf play Omikron (the worst David Cage game by far, which is saying something bc he's famously not very good at what he does) and it made realize David Cage is basically just the Anti-Warren Spectre

Spectre:

Cage:

ngl i don't know what to do with this information either

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I feel like one piece of higher-level art theory I've been realizing that we overvalue profoundity when we what we really want and is important to us as humans (and thus i feel is more inherently valuable) is emotional resonance

I feel like ppl often point the fact of "just bc something moves doesn mean its profound" but i while that IS true, it's weird, backwards way of looking at it. I think it's more than, just because something is profound, just bc it's saying something meaningful, doesn't mean it does so well enough to evoke emotions (which imo is the whole fucking purpose of art). Just bc something isn't "deep" (in the conventional understanding of that word) doesn't mean its less poignant. I feel, personally, that there is more value in a simple story written with poignance and humanity, than a text that's thematically dense but emotionally vapid

Art is, after all, about grand ideas second, and invoking emotions first and foremost

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I don't really miss the 2010s overall in the same way as the 2000s tbh, but i do miss old Monstercat, Skrillex giving me gender envy and TikTok not existing so that was rly cool i guess.

i also miss the 90s which is weird bc i was born 2000. it just sounds like it was neat.

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The past two days have been a weird mixed bag. On one hand, I got my bathroom clean, which is needed and then I watched Terrifier 2, which I enjoyed a lot more than I thought I would (actually a very great film, I thought'd it'd be total shlock since they used the gore as such a selling point, but it actually turned out to be a really excellent homage to 80s slasher films that was clearly made with a lot of filmmaking prowess and passion for golden-age slasher films. Moody of neon lights, stylized cinematography gory practical effects that were actually really well done, and even a lot of editing tricks like overt use of film grain. I was genuinely suprised by how much this movie seemed to be made for me in particular)

On the otherhand, here's my current level of mental health (TW mental illness, cringy-ass way to work through said mental illness.): Been unpacking a lot of trauma from my childhood, which was pretty rough. I can't afford a psychologist (my family needs that money for a psychiatrist.) but I am I pretty strong character writer, and I can do that "writer thing" where I can just know what a well-defined character would say in responce to something bc I understand who they are as a character and what makes them tick. (Yes this is going to the embarressing nerd place you think it is.) So what I often do is imagine a conversation with an OC of mine and use that to vent my problems and talk to someone about it without actually talking to someone about it. Usually this OC is Charlie, bc A) She's my go-to comfort character and I have a big doofy fictophile crush on her B) She's a character who's very kind to others and cares about her friends, and it's very in character for her to want to help someone who's hurting talk about their feelings and C) She's the kind of character who can tell when someone she cares about is lying about being ok and she's assertive enough to say something like "I know you're hurting, tell me what's wrong, sweetie, I promise I won't judge." So anyway... I have discovered several things:

Bare in mind all of this was unpacked by daydreaming conversations with a cartoon bunny lady who lives in my head. I guess if there's a takeaway, it's to pretend talk to your OCs more (assuming they're nice). Or maybe the takeaway is to watch Terrifier 2, if your eyes glazed over read all of this AND your into that sort of thing (I wouldn't watch it if gore bothers you, it doesn't bother me very much as all, but I did still wince more than once bc it somehow both viceral AND over-the-top. Nothing too cerebral or lingering about it though, it's still just a slasher film)

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i feel like one thing that's holding me back rn in life is my fear of never being accepted into any in-group

Like, i should understand by now that I'm never going to fit in any mold and any group of ppl I'm in or want to associate myself with will see me an an outsider or at least an outlier. im too aggressively queer for the cishet crowd but not culturally-queer enough for other ppl. My taste in art and media is too weird for the normies but too fun and accessible for the arthouse croud. I'm a weirdo even among weirdos. I'm someone who wants to champion community and mutual air, but deep down i know I'm the rare soul whose life would be destroyed by a collectivist future. I want human connection even though i know that no one could really fully get behind me as a person, not bc I'm unlovable but just bc I'm too singular of a voice to be fully loved or hated by any group of ppl. If i were to succeed, ppl on my side of the political spectrum would love who i represent but hate that the particular a-spec neurodivergent enby has taste in media and a creative vision. They'd hate that my films,could, at times, be liked by a film bro if there weren't so many nonbinary and gender-ambiguous characters. They expect the artsy queer indie gamedev to make quirky walking simulator or visual novel or JRPG games that make you cry, not mostly crunchy western RPGs that draw PC games in the 90s.

Sorry, im just catastrophizing in my fucking miniblog again. I guess I've just been really upset that i spent my whole life (while i was at least partially out of the closet) trying to find anything about queer culture that i could relate to and cherish on a personal level, but the only thing i could latch onto was furry culture. There's thing i can appreciate from a distance. Drag performance is cool, i guess. most drag queens are really excellent entertainers and performers, i dont really thinking my feelings on drag are all that strong or passion, it's an artform i appreciate far more than love on a personal level. But i don't really fit any queer stereotypes at all, other than being kind of androgynous (which isn't even really a stereotype, it's just not how every enby presents). To some ppl i sound a little gay, but mostly i just talk in a wider vocal register than a stereotypical straight guy, which I feel like doesnt really mean all that much bc I'm non-binary

but then a lot of the stuff i do like ISN'T "gay", a lot of it is stuff you'd expect a cis/straight person - usually a guy - to like, and that both gives me a bit of gender dysphoria and a lot of worry that other queer ppl won't feel any/enough kinship with me. I like slick, stylized action movies and dark, moody thrillers. I love classic cyberpunk and grungy aesthetics. I'll always far prefer Linkin Park and Rob Zombie over Queen and R.E.M, I don't really relate to the ballroom scene, but I fucking love Skrillex and bass music

And to be very clear, I am absolutely not trying to "distance myself" from queer culture whatsoever. In fact, I really, REALLY want to be closer to it! i keep trying to find anything at all in queer culture I can love on a personal level, whether it be a type of music, a film, and artform... but those are few and far between. There are some, i just wish they weren't so much less frequent than the many stereotypically-straight things I like. like i know it's better to be any individual and that stereotypes don't define us, and the fact that I'm unique is a wonderful quality to have in an artist. but idk i wish could fit in a little more, especially with ppl are like i am :(

TL;DR: I don't really fit into queer stereotypes, and that's been bumming me out recently bc im worried I won't fit it

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ppl calling Hobbyless Behavior "jobless behavior" is in and of itself some real hobbyless behavior.

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My song "Life, Death and Commerce" as a music video now!

This is a film reel for potential clients! I decided this is something I should make, I labeled this "Vol. 1" bc maybe in the near-ish future there could be more!

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MAGA Youtuber: Comedy is legal again! I can say slurs!!!

Leftist: You really put your face in the thumbnail a lot for some chud who looks like they chew on their own toenails.

MAGAt: ... help im being oppressed >:(

Edit: Idk not every joke is gonne be a winner or that original

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Practice shot I made to practice smoother animation and cinematic presentation. This is animated on 2s btw, I just used tighter slow in slow out! I also really like how this turned out, I need to remember to add letterboxing and use gaussian blur to mimic depth of field on the backgrounds more often

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My biggest critique of furry culture (other than issues that apply to other queer/neurodivergent spaces*) is that too few of us have bigger creative ambitions than just making fun art of our OCs. Like, I know furry culture isn't exactly known for taking itself all that seriously - it is about drawing "funny animals" after all - but the ambiguity that anthro characters create, just by nature of being non-human but effectively human in practice, makes it very easy to empathize with them even if the style isn't that simplified. I know this sounds meaningless coming out of my stupid mouth (I think it's obvious that I have ambitionious goals for my art and strive to make the most visionary art I can manage to make, and that I very much take autuer theory to an extreme some ppl might feel borders on comical in it's singularity. I'm also admittedly very pretentious and will not apologize for that.) but I really think we're all starved for visionary furry art. Not that it doesn't exist, it clearly does and I'm super not the only one striving for that grand ideal in my work, but it's not common and unfortunately not what we're known for (most art-respecting leftists kinda just seem to see us as Silly Little Guys Who Are Just Being Gay And Doing Their Silly Gay Thing) but I really think there's a semi-untapped potential in furry art's ability to create detailed character designs who's stylized subject matter makes them easier to relate to, and ofc the very core of what makes furry art special - the ability to use animal features to signify human personality traits - is a REALLY powerful storytelling tool that we don't give enough credit to. Granted, I understand most ppl in the fandom just wanna draw their OCs, escape their daily lives a little, and/or make a bit of fantastical nerd smut. And that is understandable, I love my OCs too, I also need escapism sometimes (frequently tbh.), and sexual expression is normal and healthy, and it's good that the fandom is a safe heaven for neurodivergent ppl to infodump about characters they made, for disadvantaged ppl to escape to a world of their creation, and for at times a space for queer adults to explore their sexuality through fantasy/sci-fi worlds and characters. But like... We can have multiple good things? I have to wonder if a lot of furry artists WANT to make some ambitious project but feel like they need to "stay in there lane" bc of the more silly and cartoonish connotations of furry culture, even though ppl can and have made really smart, well-crafted and well-written stories and projects with humanoid animal characters, both in and outside the furry fandom

*By "other issues that apply to other queer neurodivergent spaces" I mainly mean how, like in many such space, Black and PoC furries often aren't given the voice they deserve, due to the whitewashing of queer culture and Autism/ADHD being underdiaognosed in the Black community. I just wanted to acknowlegde this bc it's probably a much bigger issue, if not the biggest and most troubling issue, in furry culture. Please listen to what Black furries have to say and take their input seriously, they don't always get the equal spotlight the deserve

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As pretentious as i admittedly am, I'll never put down music JUST for being "butt rock" bc Headstrong by Thrice is considered buttrock but easily could have been written by Tool. Like if a song using a time signature that wonky isn't consider "head rock", it becomes kind of obvious the label of butt rock is less about music and more about culture and (yeah that's right im about to get pretentious about butt rock) socio-economic class

anyway this all to say you should listen to Headstrong by Thrice it's secretly really well written.

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The more i watch Patrick William's videos on the state of the movie industry, the more i wonder if he knows what the Hollywood collapse is, bc we're definitely heading for another one and he doesn't seem to realize that

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The four horsemen of bad drawing advice:

Dont Shade With Black (Death)

Draw Cleaner Lineart (Pestilence)

Don't Use Reference (Famine)

Don't Draw [Thing Speaker Personally Doesn't Like] (War)

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So I've been thinking about my gender identity a lot and trying to step out of my head and see what's actually bothering me, and what i realized is that, for me, the label of "non-binary" is still another box. I'm starting to realize, while I'm not a man or woman, i don't think im nonbinary in the traditional sense. When i speak to a lot of nonbinary ppl, while their experiences are all different, they have certain constants in how they express gender and feel about themselves in relation to the gender binary they're not a part of. They generally view themselves as a community in the broader queer community

This might surprise some ppl, but while I am queer in an objective sense, I've never really felt like part of the "queer community". It was never really a place that felt very welcoming to me specifically, so while I've had plenty of friends who were queer, I think I've always been happiest when I've tried to relate with ppl based on interests and passions rather than identity. Personally, I've never found what gender or sexuality someone is to be as meaningful of a commonality as having shared hobbies and similar taste

So i think this gender dysphoria ive been feeling, feeling like Im stuck between a rock and a hardplace second-guessing who i was is just me still not wanting to be part of the gender binary, but still trying to be nonbinary in a way that enbies and queer ppl would find recognizable. Granted, i don't think most cishets will really distinguish between me and "conventionally non-binary" ppl so that's something ill have to live with

to elaborate more, i don't think im really nonbinary in the way ppl understand bc every nonbinary person ive met still views their "genderlessness" from the lens not being on the gender binary, but still in relation to it's existence as something they are not on, whereas i feel like my gender identity doesn't feel like it exists in the same imagined plane as the gender binary. i don't think i feel nonbinary bc for me the gender binary isn't even something i exist in relation to

I know ive spoken a lot about queer identity on here, so this might come as i surprised, but the distinction between "queer" and "cishet" doesn't actually matter to me as it seems to matter to a lot of other queer ppl. I speak about queer rights bc i want me and other ppl on the queer spectrum to be accepted as equality valid to those who aren't on the queer spectrum, and, importantly for me, that we aren't all that different from cishets, we just experience gender identity and sexuality in a different way

Sometimes I can't help for feel I'm "culturally straight" in the same way a a lot of cishets ppl are culturally queer. I really WANT to relate to queer culture... but other than like, furry art and hyperpop, i kind of don't. Most of my taste is "straight guy coded" and that in and of itself gives me gender dysphoria, but it also means i feel alienated from other queer ppl. I feel like the one group/demographic of ppl I feel really comfortable around are left-wing cishet men, bc they're accepting of who i am bc they're left-wing, but bc they're also overtly non-queer they don't really call my credibility as a (on paper) member of queer culture into question, bc they don't see my interests and personal tastes as anything out of the ordinary, to them i can be a like-minded person who happens to be a queer trans person. I'm always terrified to be in queer spaces bc it makes me feel like such a "black sheep the family". I'm not on the gender binary and I'm an aegosexual with no particularly gender preference, but I'm just different from other queer ppl in a way I'm worried I'll be socially rejected for, no matter how hard I try I'll never be able to fit myself into queer stereotypes, and i don't really wanna fit a stereotype just to be accepted. I wanna be me, even if who I am isn't really who you expect a queer like me to be like, I'm genderqueer and aspec but im also my own person with my own tastes, interests, thought and feelings that don't fit into any box you could try to put me in based on how i identify and express my gender/sexuality, I'm more than a aroace enby, I am my own person

Damn... that all feels really good to say! I'm probably never going to fit neatly into any one box, expectation or label, and maybe if i stop trying to, I'll be a healthier and happier person. and maybe I should be proud of the fact that my existence disproves the notion of a lot of queer stereotypes being true or universal, rather than ashamed of it. I don't try to fit my art into a box, why do that with who i am as a person?

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Someday far from now, i will no longer be with us, but at my funeral, i don't want it to be sad. i want the ppl i love to celebrate my life. not tastefully though. like don't have a quiet funeral reception with sentimental music and quiet chatting i want Because Maybe by Renard blared at full volume through a subwoofer. Have not only alcohol, but also a fun selection of soda for ppl who don't drink. The food bar should have nachos, several different kinds of pizza, and bunch of those Little Debbie cakes and like a ton of other junk food. After the neighbors inevitably call the cops and everyone books it, you should all go to a second location where you have a marathon of all the films and other videos i made, have a listening party for all my albums, and huddle around a computer to play the games I've made. In terms of burial, a regular casket is chill, but it'd be cool to be mummified, as a power move.

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For all the antiwoke ppl talking about Wokeness Gone Too Far, it's really insane that even today ppl bring the Bochel Test up like it's the fucking 90s and queer ppl don't exist. Like if your ONLY reference point for how progressive a stories gender politics are is "two women have a normal conversation" i feel like you must be a cishet shitlib with the respectibility politics of a privileged white suffergette eager to throw women of color under the bus bc you only care about sexism if it effects you or someone you personally know (sorry for the hyperbole but the state of politics and media literacy makes me angry sometimes)

ofc the example of "most stories centered around gay men loving each other technically fail the bachel test" was probably a point of contention even in the 90s, but my favorite example has to do with ppl like me

If you write a story where every character is nonbinary, one of two things would be true:

A) It wouldn't pass the bachel test bc there are no female characters, nevermind the fact there are also no male characters

Or - much, much more troubling - B) One might try to argue that nonbinary people are "adjacent to women" so it still passes. To be clearly, not all of us are "woman lite", as that's a form of misgendering levied against us a lot. While SOME enbies consider themselves mostly femme, we are a lot more diverse than that and a lot of us (myself included) really don't feel comfortable with the notion that we have to lean one way or the other. I consider myself a masc/femme genderfluid person, some enbies (especially some of those assigned female at birth, but also some AMAB enbies who just don't quite fit into a box) consider themselves masc-leaning, some enbies are agender and others have a more nebulous or abstract sense of gender. So yeah don't argue this, please, we aren't just "kinda women" we're our own thing

TL;DR The Bachel Test was made in the 90s, was probably useful for straight ppl for a brief period of time, but doesn't include queer ppl and lacks nuance. I would recommend actually trying to practice media literacy and analyze instead.

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A philosophical question that's bothered me for a while is "As a socially-transitioned enby who isn't on HRT and hasn't had any kind of surgury done, what actually seperates me from a very non-conformist cisgender man?". Like I've been losing sleep over that shit

After a moment of reflection today, I've come up with several reasons: I have gender dysphoria, especially around this question and about being put into a box or being seen as "just a man" or labeled as such; I hyphenated my name to add a femme version of it (Ian/Iana instead of just Ian); I don't like it when ppl exclusively use "he/him" pronouns for me (I'm still fine with he/him pronouns sometimes, but I'd prefer if ppl used other pronouns like "they/them" and "she/her" sometimes as well, so I don't feel like they see me as a man); I get a feeling of deep gender euphoria when I see my hair looking pretty and my face with make-up (Big caveat on this one: I actually have no idea if regular femboys get a similar feeling or not)

These reasons aren't nothing, but I wish I had something more tangible :(

A lot of these are aren't that different from "Well I don't indentify as a man, I indentify as genderfluid/nonbinary" and that answer has never really statified this concern of mine

If you're reading this, I'd REALLY like your honest opinion on this, either on my neocities profile or my cbox (under "CONTACT/CHAT" button). Whether it's just affirmation of my gender identity, or more serious advice, I'd like to hear it, I don't always trust my own thoughts and feelings on their own when it comes to this stuff

I'm sometimes really unsure who or what I am. I spent years just accepting that I was a non-conformist man, but eventually I came to the conclusions that I must be nonbinary, though I sometimes wonder, in intrusive thoughts, if I just adopted that label bc that's what it seemed like I was "suppose to do" based on what I had learned from the trans content I was watching at the time, and if I really should be calling myself trans/nonbinary when my experience seems different than the experience so many trans ppl. I'd really rather be nonbinary than a man, I never liked the box of manhood and being nonbinary has always seemed so much more authentic to how I feel, but sometimes these thoughts creep in and I wonder if I really have the right to call myself genderqueer when it seems so many trans ppl's trans experiences are so different than mine when it comes to the details .-.

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I was watching Super Eyepatch Wolf playing Faith: The Holy Trinity on a VOD, and it looks like an excellent game, but I'm kind of suprised the anti-woke grifters don't bring it up more, bc it might be the only game with a conservative outlook that's as good as it is, instead they bring up games that either suck or obviously aren't conservative like Fallout or Bioshock

Then again, I don't hear the anti-woke ppl bring up The Excorsist that often, even though that movie, Faith and catholic horror in general is inherently conservative without being preachy

So... do they not know catholic horror is generally a conservative genre that people across the political spectrum generally agree can be quite good... or is it just that catholic horror isn't conservative in an aggressively bigoted way?

(Not to say catholic horror is never troubling at all, it just usually isn't like "We hate the gays and blacks!!!" bc it's focused on arguing for traditional religeon, and even when the writers are racist/homophobic/whatever else they know it's distasteful to express those belief and it'd alienate most audiences. But it's usually better-written than most conservative or Christian media, both bc the fear of the devil makes for good horror, and the writer of The Excorist could actually write a compelling narrative bc unlike the PureFlix ppl he was good at writing lol)

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You're not going crazy, I just deleted two post that used to be right here bc I decided they SUCKED!!!!11one

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One problem I've had with this site is figuring out how to create a space to gush about my OCs without clogging up the miniblog...

I've struggled with format a lot since infodumping OC lore is such a nebulous thing, for me at least

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I can't speak for all enbies, but personally I feel like "being trans is a choice" is stupid argument because why the fuck would anyone choose to be nonbinary?

Like, choosing to be a man makes sense for the privlege

Choosing to be a woman makes sense bc you're allowed to express all of your emotions freely and you aren't quite as isolated in society

Being nonbinary is the only of these three options that has zero social benefits whatsoever. It's the worst of both worlds and then some. No one takes your emotions seriously, (albeit not quite in the insanely toxic way it is for men), ppl who infantilize women will also infantilize you, you will be isolated, being don't take what you have to say seriously,, ppl don't treat you like a human being, ppl will be distant from you and see you as a threat, AND on top of all that stuff some ppl won't even acknowlegde that your gender identity even exists! Why would I "choose" this if it wasn't undeniably who I am (ngl I'd still be trans if it was a choice, but I would choose to be a woman just bc that's a better fit for my personality, but ofc I didn't go with woman bc that's just another binary box that I don't fit in)

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A genre of person I really like are neurodivergent cishet men, bc they are so consistently unpredictable, and I have to sincerely admit, far more so than most neurodivergent queer ppl, bc there are literally no stereotypes you can go off of that are ever really accurate. Like, I think in the queer community we have our own kind of quiter fragility around being queer in the "right way" (not as nearly loud and overzealous as toxic masculinity, but queer ppl below a certain age have embraced stereotypes far too much, and even I, non-conformist that I am, have caught myself trying to conform to how a genderqueer person "should be"). But straight boy autistic/ADHD ppl just like... Don't do that. Their disability doesn't fit within the hypermasculine mold, so they don't even give a fuck or try to perform anything in terms of sexuality or gender idenity. Ngl I think us queer neurospicy ppl could take a page from these guy's book, and I mean that with zero irony whatsoever. Many of them are also a good example about how you can be "woke" and still come to your own conclusions rather than parroting an echochamber which is kind of what Leftist did before social media anyway but critical thinking has unfortunately been taken out of that equation in favor of using the "right" words, deeper message be damned.

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Render of version 3 of my CG faux-stop-motion sona character model:

Three big upgrades in this one: First is that I think I found the right balance between "cute" and "fucked up goth" on this one. The first ekko model of this caliber was too ugly, but the second (the one used in Nemolacrya) I felt overcorrected that a big. Secondly, this model is segmented into parts, so it's a LOT easy to repose with Blender's sculpting tools! Third is just that I managed the polycount a lot better this time

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So... appearently (as of writing this) if you filter by the tag "furry" (and only then, granted) I'm on the first page of Special Sauce, somewhere in the lower-middle of it

This acheivement is not big enough to be overjoyed, but still significant enough that it's kind of a mindfuck

Ok UPDATE: I don't show up in "art" (not a suprise, very common tag and there's a lot of impressive sites using it that are more well-known than mine) but I DO show up under "music", albeit towards the bottom. However, THIS was a suprise:

How did this happen???

Also:

I'm #2 in experimental????

So, naturally, I immediately new I needed to check out #1 in experimental, and, yeah... It's warrented

I'm gonna add their webbutton right under here and then paste that into the links, but be warned that their comic, Suzu and Jack, is a pretty harrowing pitch-black comedy based on the artist's experience as a childhood trauma and domestic abuse survivor. I'll add a heads-up in the tooltip, but DEFINITELY check the content warning if you're worried about that sort of thing. I've read everything out so far, and it's frequently funny and profound, but it definitely is unsettling and at times heartrending. The webmaster themself describes their comic has a "psychological horror-comedy intended for mature audiences"

Anyway here's the webbutton:

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Is it ethical to kick (BILLIONAIRE)'s ass?

Jeff Bezos: Well of course, it's amazing a disgrunted amazon worker hasn't done that already

Elon Musk: Gang up on him and then give him a wedgie

Tim Cook: Ehhh sure why not?

Taylor Swift: Kicking her ass is going too far, but while she doesn't really deserve that, vitriol against her is very understandable given her parasitic place in the music industry. I would personally reccomend calling her a "rich dip nepo baby" and a "talentless hack" who "woulnd't be here if not for her rich parents and extremely boring cisheteronormative beauty standards mattering to big wig label execs more than actual talent" and then unfavorably contrast her with the likes of Sophie, Bjork, Charli XCX, or any other talented femme-presenting musicians. It's best to bring up as many extremely musically-talented women as possible so she really know that you're not just another chud that hates women, but actually a Super Woke Person who just hates her as an individual bc she's a nepo baby with too much money ruining the enviorment with her private jet trips. Or you could just say "her music is hella mid ngl", that also works.

George Soros: Listen, technically the answer is a resounding "yes", but the person who does it NEEDS to be Jewish, bc unfortunately neo-nazis hate him as much as leftists for a much more stupid and hateful reason. SUPER don't do it if your Muslim bc the far-right LOVES to push forward the narrative that Jews and Muslims hate each other and aren't just two ethnoreligeons marginized in America. Like, you'd have to be REALLY cautious with this one. In fact, I think it'd be much better if Jacob Geller made a video essay where he draws parrels between George Soros and the billionaire guy from Jet Set Radio. Yeah, that's way better! If you are famed youtuber Jacob Geller reading this: You have my FULL permission to use this idea. Or another way to tie in the music industry into a video game narrative. Or make it about literally anything at all, I'll probably watch it on the grounds that it's a new Jacob Geller video

Kelsy Grammer: This guy is probably the last billionaire you would ever want to beat up or really be all that mean to at all. "Good Billionaires" do not exist, but if one did exist his name would be Kelsy Grammer. At most, Grammer deserves to be told "You have way too much money, but you're not so bad for a billionaire :)"

(also this is just a shitpost, please don't take it seriously or as advice. Also don't call Swift a nepo baby on social media, only bc Swifties have more aggresion than class solidarity by a long shot, they frighten me.)

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Imagine if I ever got an interview as a creative. They would ask me "What are your influences?" and I'd be like "Uhhh..." and then pull like five random influnces of mine out of a hat and every single one would be a curveball from the last. They'd be like "So you use biblical allegory and theological concepts a lot in your work. Are you yourself relgious?" and I'd be like "Oh god no" and then two minutes later I'd be waxing poetic about how religeon itself is a metaphor for our understanding of the world in a sense. Then, seeing the influx of angry comments from religeous fruitcakes, they'd switch the conversation to "So uhhh your a furry or something? Tell me about your experience with the fandom" and then after 5+ minutes of just talking about my fursona and OCs we'd somehow end up on the topic of the artistic capablilities of video games where'd I'd come in swinging with the take "I don't think 'fun' and 'art' are at all at odds. I think a good 8 out of 10 artistically-inclined video games are still better off trying to be actual games with mechanics and gameplay. I don't like it when games try to be movies, at that point just make a movie, y'know?" and then they'd suprised about that bc they're and art person but I'm also an art person and I have the polar opposite take about that. Then I'd explain what an "Immersive Sim" is and why I think it's the medium and gaming at it's most artistically-impressive, imo

EDIT: It's oddly fitting that this post just uncerimoniously ends lol

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Ok, so that annoucnment: My sixth album, Anti-Villain, is now out on Bandcamp and the Internet Archive!

You can listen to and download it here!

This is probably one of my best albums in a long time. I think this one might be the best mainline artpop album I've made so far, but I'll let you be the judge of that. It's far more high-energy and at times almost club-inspired, but there's still ups and downs. Each song feels super distinct while still coalessing into a greater whole

I would give this one a try if you like any of my music at all

There's also a lyric video for the lead single, Mr. Faust:

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I forgot to post this yesterday. It a drawing of Ekko and also one of a weird little gnome for some reason (the latter was a warmup drawing lol)

I also have a major announcement to make, though I'm gonna wait til I wake up a bit more. It's very exciting and on the offchance that you follow me on Bandcamp you might have already noticed it ;)

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New luna moth OC that I'm already hyperfixated on:

I HAD to draw Ekko giving him affection in the two right corners bc I can't not love on the moth femboy with social anxiety. HE'S SO CUTE KNFSLBDOFDFJBDJBWBRJEBTK

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One of my most mundane (and extremely specific) anxieties around being trans is well-intentioned individuals who aren't very educated on trans stuff having trouble wrapping their head around the idea that I am transfemme, but not a woman. Bc I bet a lot of ppl assume all tranfemme ppl are transgender women, and do to the "feminine" part of "transfeminine", I feel like a lot of ppl would struggle with the idea of someone with a feminine trans idenity not being a woman, and I'm not sure I'd being to best communicate it to them in a way they'd understand

My best crack at it might be that I'm genderfluid and have masc and femme aspects to my overall androgynous gender idenity, but I use the word "transfemme" bc I wasn't allowed to express or idenify with the feminine aspects of my gender idenify, and so my femme side is more important to my journey as a trans enby bc I was so starved for expressing myself effeminately and expressing that I didn't belong in the closet of forced manhood, which was something that I never consented to. Even this definition might be a lot to parse just bc it's so much new information

Speaking of being tranfemme... I just tried these razors - they're called "Bic Flex 4" - and y'all I always past these up bc I assumed they were a Gellette clone and wouldn't get my facial hair off. Nope! These get me baby smooth, no bleeding required. These are the exact kind of razor I've been looking for! They only come in packs of three, but they also last longer and are meant to be more reusable

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Added some cool new fonts

It may take awhile for the miniblog and status to update!

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Y'all... I'm fucking pissed with myself rn for the stupidest reason

I've been using the term "lithosexual" to describe my sexuality. Apperently, that's not the right word. Appearently, I'm "Aegosexual", bc lithosexual ppl, appearently, DO feel sexual attraction, but don't want it repricated. I thought it just meant you liked the idea of sex but don't actually want to have sex or be involved in anything sexual. Appearently the term for that is "Aegosexual"

I've been using the wrong word since highschool FML.

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A useful thing to understand about acceptance is that "I'm not a bigot to queer ppl/racial minorities/women/etc" just means "I'm not going to hate or descrimate against queer ppl/racial minorities/women/etc just for existing", but it doesn't (and shouldn't) literally mean "I love and vouch for all queer ppl/racial minorities/women/etc on an individual basis, will never critize a single one about literally anything, and will be friendly to each individual one, even if they're an asshole"

Listen, I know I am stating the obvious here, like "no shit", but I've genuinely seen a lot of ppl (weirdly both on the left and right) who seem to think the opposite. With liberals and leftists, it's ppl not holding someone accountable for being an asshole and/or a piece of shit bc the offending party is a woman or minority (and when they're a woman, there's a lot of weirdly misogynistic self-infantilization of her, bc "she's a girl she can't be an abuser", like women aren't, y'know, adult humans who are capable of both good and evil, as adult humans tend to be. Don't infantalize woman and act like that's woke!). With right-wingers (especially the "anti-woke" braindead crowd, they'll point to some woman or minority who IS an insufferable asshole, and then use that person as a strawman like "All woman/minorities are exactly like this asshat that I cherry-picked. No further research nessessary." Left-wing version is troubling (especially coupled with abusive ppl appropriating therapy-speak to hurt ppl) and when the anti-woke crowd does it, it's annoying as shit.

EDIT: But hey, Katy Perry doesn't seem to be fooling anyone anymore, and the anti-woke crowd now more than ever is a laughing stalk, so maybe things are on the up and up? Hopefully! I'm tired of infantalizing minorities/women, that stupid anti-woke shit, and the dumbing-down of Leftism on the social web, all in equal measure but the anti-woke crowd slightly more.

Anyway probably this'll probably not reach anyone who actually need, most of those ppl are on the social web lol

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Here's a screenshot from a (VERY) WIP prototype I'm working on

It's going to be another sandbox RPG. All the gameplay mechanics are already programmed and largely test. (I made a framework for making CRPGs not that long ago.) It'll have a lot of the same mechanics as MATTERPUNK, but I hope to flesh the open world (which is about the same size as Matterpunks, but already looking a bit more lively looking thanks to the surreal spooky blood lakes!) by adding NPCs with actually dialog, and enemies in the overworld is predetermined places that'll stay dead when you kill them. It'll still have Some dungeons and a town or two, and maybe I'll even add a narrative sidequest or two! I'm kinda trying to take the lessons I learned from making MATTERPUNK and combining them with the lessons I learned from making I Dreamt Of Sanguia and combining them together. I'd also, if I like how this turns out, maybe expand it into a paid version for Steam that adds new content, including new "realms" (basically more small open worlds you can explore, as oppose to just expanding this one into an overblown one. It'd add more world while keeping scope in check!)

Oh, and in case your curious, this is what the world looks like without the pixel art filter:

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There are two kinds of passionate artists:

Type 1: I am the way I am in defiance of a constructed god we call Normalcy. I wish to subvert expectations, push past the so-called rules of what we believe to be true

Type 2: I drew a buni :3

unfortunately, I am Type 1.

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The problem with the alt-right trying to offend me (in particular) is that the shit that makes most ppl cringe I have a post-ironic adoration for, most of the shit that tries to be offensive just kind of makes me cringe, and the shit that actually offends me has got to be *creatively* offensive. Like, you can't just say the R-slur and expect that to work. I'm just gonna make a face like "ewww", it's gross but overplayed. You gotta be a complete douchewad in a way I've never seen before.

The alt-right is not known for creativity.

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John Poisoneater: What's up guys? it's me, John. As you know i love rat poison. Today ill be trying rat poison from Italy

John's doctor, begging: plz... not again...

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Morrowind seems broken, until you learn it's RPG systems and realize that your walk speed was slow bc you had a low Speed and Athletics stats, those "bad hitbox" were actually just you missing an attack do to a subpar weapon skill and/or bad rng, etc

At least until you understand Morrowind a little too well, by that point your downing so much skooma you noclipped out of the world by moving to fast. And then after that you'll be killing daedra at level 3 with your stupidly overpowered cheese build that uses four major skills (I was just doing that before I wrote this. What's insane is my level 3 khajiit kinda floored a couple of late-game enemies and rivaled other. One killed me no problem though, bc I couldn't jump-dodge it's thunder spell bc the room was too small. My one weakness.)

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(Gaming in 2013)

AAA: Here's a gun! Go shoot the baddies!

Indie: You see, in this game you merely walk, but it's a very meaningful game. You play as Herald Sadman, who has severe depression but cannot afford therapy because he is poor. You experience life as Herald, who's suicide attempt is presented as a fake bluescreen of death, so the player really feels the weight of the mistake they made in order to progess the story. In the end, Herald realizes that he can overcome his trouble, even if it will be difficult.

(Gaming in 2026)

AAA: No, you don't get it, this game is actually really meaningful. It's sort of like a movie crossed with MSG2, you play as John Badman, who must confront the fact that all these enemies he killed were actually refugees. *checks notes intently* War Is Bad. Press the "grenade" button to throw grenade. Why did you just throw a grenade at those refugees? Just because the game told you to? Really makes you think about how humans are terrible to eachother...

Indie: We made Karl Marx into an anime girl and gave her a gun! Go shoot the CEO of Misanthropy Incorporated! Woah! Watch out for the allegory about how what a lot of Americans think is Communism is actually just Capitalism, she's personafied as a buff wolf lady with twin katanas, which are gold to represent greed and also cuz it just looks awesome! Holy shit, look at her healthbar, this'll put your schmovement skills to the test!

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I would be a terrible streamer, bc I would play into chat's antics to a mischievous degree, but as soon as they started acting puritanical I would start sounding like a middle school biology teacher

If there is anything the hit game Clickolding has taught us, it is that the entity known as Chat becomes unstable at sexual themes in even an artistic context. It's honestly probably for the best twitch doesn't allow actual porn games.

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Made this 3D pixel art shader for Godot. It's pretty cool, very convincing in a screenshot, in movement feels like walking through a pixel world but in full 3D!

I put up the shader on Godot Shaders here

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So... I have a couple shaders up on Godot Shaders!

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cleaned up the graphix iframe page a bit, removed some i felt like were fluff/page filler. this might help with proformance, but tbh i mostly just wanted to tidy up a bit

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Started learning Godot shaders. This is my first real shader in Godot, a bit inspired by 90s CGI (although using more modern techniques). I made this surreal landscape with it

If anyone wants to use it here it is for copy/paste:

It's modular and has several parems, so if you want to get a look like this you'll need to raise the "flow" value and check to "glossy" box on. It supports both textures and normal maps, I just used the built-in noise textures

This might also be a good way to modernize pre-rendered background, as well

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That's all the posts on the mini-blog! For older posts, check out the mini-blog archive