This is a new series of webzines im making called the Neurospicy Corner, where I yap about whatevers on my mind, even if it starts with one thing and ends with another! It'll be wildly authentic and very AuDHD stream-of-thought, so let's begin :3

a thing ive been thinking about in the past like 7 months has been conventional beauty standards in comparison to having a "type", and the inherent, unspoken dissonance between them. Granted, I'm AroAce, but while I am romance-indifferent and sex-repulsed, I think the IDEA of that kind of love is pretty neat in theory (or at least fiction), and I still have an aesthetic preference, even if I mainly apply it to fictional characters, so i think im still qualified to speak on this lol

Anyway, about conventional beauty standard: I think there boring af. Nothing about the glorified, vapid aesthetic of hunky guys or skinny women is that interesting to me. And yes, i know and agree that these strict, heavily gendered beauty roles are harmful and pigeonhole what it means to be "beautiful", and yes, the "normie-ness" of these ideals probably turn me off to them a bit, but that's not the sole reason i find things ideals unimaginative

For one thing: it's kind of weird that we shame ppl when their bodies are soft and squishy, right? I know this is gonna sound like a leap but im dead serious: To me that feels like a Freudian extension of our fear of vulnerablity. Because, if you can, for a moment, pretend our culture does not exist: It's kind of weird that the softer someone's body is, the less sensual that person is seen right?

That is absolutely NOT to say ppl who are skinny or muscular should be shamed by any means, bodyshaming is bad regardless of who it's targeted at. But modern western culture could have picked any physique to socially annex and vilify, and i think, given the fear of emotional vulnerablity that pervades across westernized cultures, there's something oddly, uncomfortably psycho-sexual about choosing to sexualize having rock-hard muscles.

ON THE SUBJECT OF DISCONCERTING FREUDIAN ANALSYS (hows that for a segway :P): I wanna give a bit of a reccomendation of a WIP project you can try out now: Hellcaster: Raven's Awakening is a survival horror game inspired by Silent Hill 2 & 3, set in the manifest nightmares of a a character named Raven in a post-human, quasi-utopian future haunted by forces beyond mortal comprehension

You can try the demo here!

or

GO BACK HERE