Feeling: Not good y'all (but better after that long rant under "message")
Enjoying: I had a dark joke here at my own expense. Now I'm gonna say "right the message below" bc dear god did that feel cathartic
Message: You don't realize how infuriating typing on a phone is until your too tired to open your laptop but also have Too Many Thoughts and need to get them out specifically on your website. Touchscreens were a mistake. Anyway don't worry about me even if i lose all hope I'll be too grumpy and tired to kill myself and i kinda wanna live on out of spite for the universe and the rotten, puss-filled current state of our society bc fuck all the worthless fascist freaks who want me dead. I need to outlive my enemies and even if I can't I'll take them down with me if they fucking try to murder me. I might be a fucked up emotionally-detached bitch but at least I define myself by what i am and what i care about instead who im not and the things i hate. i have more interesting things to say than just "fuck the alt-right and down with forced, bigoted, unconsenual social norms" but the nazi fucks who've wormed there way into power once again don't even have anything to say that meaningful. All they have to say is overused slurs and conspiracy-brained verbal bile. I guess i can take solace in knowing it's not the end of the world that im kind of a flawed person who's got a heart of gold one day and is a bitter angry bitch the next. I don't need to be a flawless individual to know that I'm better than the MAGAts, both morally and in what I do, and that it's not even a fucking close. It's comparing a unpredictable miracle/curse machine to a landfill filled exclusively with actual feces. At least when im at my worst I'm a selfish petty bitch. When my insufferable side shows she's got some fucking flair to sucking. And even then I'm still a better person than the morally-irredeamable pissbaby losers who want minorities to fucking die bc they can't handle an experience outside of their own also existing in the world. Why is it that the closest thing the real world has to "pure evil" is so fucking cringe, if there was ever an appropriate use for that word, it's fucking when prudish old men think they're edgy for saying slurs like there a fucking 9 year old who hasn't figured what "edgy" actually means yet while their unhinged TERF tradwives talk about how treating men and women the same is Really Misogynistic, Actually™ and talk about how trans women existing is offensive to cis women bc it's a violation of the lunar cycle of the moon goddess when Mercury goes into retrograde and then the Fox News host has to nod confusedly and pretend that not only makes rational sense as an argument but that he understands "a bit of Astrology but tell me more!" and then it just turns into a clown show where we're using medival star wizard divination to justify our transphobia bc that's where we're at now i guess. Meanwhile there are people who won't play games based on there being a single black guy in it or an optional pride flag cosmetic, while there's a bunch of brainwashed "puriteens" who despite being supposedly-leftwing atheists think such righteous crusades such as "Clutching pearls over gay sex scene" and "kinkshaming a user, that specifically told you not to interact with them, past the point of online harrassment and far into creepy stalker territory". This isn't "the worst timeline" btw, in terms of human culture time is cyclical not linear. We're going through the 1930-40s again bc every 100 years events like this repeat themselves, and that is every bit as horrifying and disheartening as it is fucking embarrassing. We'll get through this hell, but it'll leave a cultural mark, and that honestly might be good. no one should forget this